I have been home for over a month now, and have been adjusting to life in the United States.
The be honest, the reverse culture shock was not too bad. Maybe it's because I've returned from being overseas before, but I haven't had too much of a problem going to the store, driving (somehow I even remember to wear a seatbelt!), and the like. I love taking hot showers every day and sleeping in my soft bed with 5 pillows.
Still, re-entry has been hard. I was in denial at first, because I wanted coming home to be great, but in a word, re-entry stinks! Don't get me wrong, I am happy to see my family and my church is awesome, but home is lonely. Life here feels empty. It's weird, isn't it? I can do whatever I want, eat whatever I want, I am totally free and am loved here, yet I don't feel content.
Resting was needed, at first it didn't take me long to reach the "what now?" stage. Lack of structure is hard for me and I spent the first week getting onto a weird schedule of staying in bed, going to sleep late, and wasting a lot of time! Oh I am way too good at that. I quickly felt isolated and disconnected from God. I used to love my alone time, now all I want is to be around people.
I came home and so much here is the same. This place reeks of memories,and the Race feels like it was a dream. Did that really happen? I wonder. I began to wonder if I had even changed.
It has helped to share pictures and stories of the year with people, yet it is hard because no matter how much I share, no one can ever fully understand all that this year was for me.
Not that life is all bad, I know I am blessed to have gone on the Race and to be here now. I just know I am currently not living up to God's best for me…. More thoughts on life in the States are to come, and I might start blogging on a new website soon…
