As I was writing Ms. Patti a comment on facebook… trying to describe the feeings that are being sloshed around in my being… I saw a pinball machine. (7/10/10)
Bouncing around from place to place, job to job,weekend e
vent, to party, to man. Sometimes I would get bright ideas to further myself and my ambitions that would launch me, propel me in a direction… thinking I was going to land in some stability and peace… but again… hitting hard again and again on things not my own. Racking up points and sin against me… not knowing how to wipe my score clean and to start over. Someone keeps hitting “new game” but it doesn’t feel new… it’s the SAME GAME!
I saw Jesus… come and shatter the glass of the pinball machine I called life. Fortunately for this box I was living in… had a glass top. I could always look UP and see that there was more… I KNEW that this game wasn’t it for me… wasn’t right. I just didn’t know how to get out. Jesus with force elbowed the glass top and broke the box I was in. He cut Himself and there was blood that dripped from His elbow. He wiped it off and used it to clean me up.
Jesus reached in and pulled me out… He took me out of the repetitious game that was beating me down. God grabbed me by the hand… and I felt freedom… I felt His hand hold me… I was FINALLY secure.
So why don’t I feel secure now? I should… His hand is still holding me… but where am I? if I’m not in that game… the familiar game… bouncing around crazy, being beaten up… and coming up with my own plan, to prosper myself… what do I do?
He held me in a suspended state for the year, healing and repairing the damage that was done from that harsh reality I was trapped in. He held me over the game… showed me the areas that were causing hurts and pains… but does He put me down in a new game? Does it look the same as the last?
I know that I am stronger and better prepared for the things I’ll hit… but the game has taken on more twists, more turns and more traps that before… when He healed, and strengthened my faith… He also opened my eyes and ears! WOW… the last game is worse than I thought… as my life is off pause… what does He have next for me?
The only thing I do know … is that He’s in control. Jesus rescued me from chaos, cleaned me up, wiped clear my score and HE has to have MORE for me.
Pray for me please… that I come into, walk confidently in the “NEW” Rachel He shed His blood to make me… that I hear His voice and obey His call.
I invite you to take a look around at the life you’re in… does it look like the same game you’ve played over and over? How’s your score? Is this game beating you and you are begging for someone to not hit that replay button… ask God to break through your life as you know it… rescue you from repetition… allow Him to heal and strengthen you… no matter what it takes… and as I am hovering in the unknown… I encourage you to take steps of faith that allow you to venture there too… just know this…
HE WILL HAVE YOU IN HIS HAND
it’s the best place to be.
