Losing Your Life (part 1)

At the beginning of time, God made man and “things” that man was to be able to use for life. Simple things but non the less “things”. They were to be subservient to man. With the introduction of sin early on, these very “things” were now able to be a potential source to damage the soul and that they did.

God was and is often place in rank of importance after many many “things”. “Things” we feel we couldn’t live without. These “things” that God has given us were never meant to take the place of God and I believe it saddens Him. Saddens Him that we spend more time with our “things”, earning money for more “things”, fixing our “things” and complaining about our “things”.

Where did God go? Or should I say, “Where do we place God compared to our “things”?

Jesus talked about this when He said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”

(Mathew 16:24-25)

What Jesus was saying, is that to lose the life or ways of life we created for ourselves is to not really lose anything. Because a life without Him or full focus on Him is no life at all. No true life, not the best life… Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

“The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and abnegation of all things.”-The Pursuit of God, A.W. Tozer

So also when Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit”, what He also meant was the poor who are no longer slaves to “things”. Now, I am not claiming to be poor. But I know this year is going to show me what poor is. Be it me, or the cultures we come across. To fully rely on God and His provision is where we find life. It is a painful process though. Painful in the way of requiring sacrifices. Dying daily to ourselves and our ways to follow Him.

This is what was meant by “taking up our cross”.Just as Jesus took up our cross of sin, so might we take up our cross of sins. To die daily to them, to repent of them and to ask God what it is He wants for us.

The reason this hurts at first is because of the comforts we have been accustomed to. The things that supposedly make our lives easier. Many times it’s those “things” that we are supposed to give up in order to find ourselves.

Even though this is a painful process, it is a necessary one to further our spiritual growth and relationship with Him. If we do not take the necessary steps, our growth may slow down or even come to a stop.

This is what I was feeling before I left. Around May of ’08 I found myself unsatisfied and full of myself… seeking to fulfill, self needs and self desires and self wants. “Things” like money, food, clothes, partying, and just focus. Very selfish. It’s a draining thing to be, and it gets old quick. I had been single for about a year around this time as well, so I only had myself to take care of or to think about. I wasn’t happy at all, miserable to tell you the truth.

This attitude surfaced in many ways, self disrespectful and negative towards life and others amongst probably many other subconscious ways.

I never knew what the term “a dangerous prayer” was… but I do now. This was a dangerous prayer I prayed.

Because God uses the willing. I was desperate and willing. God whipped my world around to say the least. He did it then, this all came about fast and it is most definitely drastic.

I didn’t realize what I prayed till later on when it was starting to hit me that I was completely immersed with a need to serve others and to sacrifice the life as I knew it. To give up all I have known. To leave all I loved to follow hard after Him. To “take up my cross” and to find the life He calls me to have. The Best Life. A life I couldn’t find or make on my own. I asked for it to be drastic because it takes a lot to get me to break out of things that are comforts to me, they may be good things… but not the Best things for me. And especially not the thing I needed most… Simply God. I am finding Him, seeing Him, hearing Him, feeling Him, and Loving Him more and more.

What a Gracious God we have. One that meets us where we are at, and calls us to be more in Him. Calls us to Live Fully and Beautifully in His Presence and for His Glory.

Thank You Holy Spirit for giving me an Obedient Heart that was unsettled in