My dear followers on Monday June 5 of 2017, I accomplished one of my greatest achievements. On Monday, I graduated from Quaker Valley High School!! Yes, graduating high school is a major accomplishment in any person’s life; however, to me graduating was more than receiving a diploma. It was more than wearing a cap and a gown and it was more than walking across a stage as people clap for you. Do not get me wrong, I am elated to have received my diploma, to have worn my cap and gown and to have walked across the stage. But for me there is more to it.
In my previous posts I have talked about struggling with my mental health- a struggle that lasted seven years. In order to cope with my debilitating axiety and depression, I developed several very unhealthy behaviors. What started as minor acts of self harm soon led to multiple suicide attempts. During this time in my life, I had no desire to live. In fact this desire to not live was so strong that I attempted to end my life more than once. I genuinely did not think that I would be alive for the day that I would graduate, actually I hoped that I would not be alive by the time that I graduated.
During my high school years I was placed in a psychiatric hospital three separate times and spent a total of a littleover a month and a half in hospitals. Even during the days that I was not drowning in depression, I still did not think that I would ever make it out of high school. As messed up as it sounds, my irrational and sick brain was determined to end my life before the end of high school. Throughout the course of my life I had accomplished many things, but graduating was never on my agenda.
By God’s grace, I woke up each morning breathing. God fought for my life even when I worked against Him to end my life. During the several months that I fought with God to end my life, He was slowly restoring my life bit by bit. Finally, on April 29, 2016 I decided that my life was worth living. I distinctly remember coming across the scripture of John 13:7 “Jesus replied, “You do not understand now what I am doing, but later you will understand’”. This piece of scripture saved my life. I whole heartedly believe that had I not discovered that piece of scripture, I would not be here today writing to you.
So you see, when my name was called at graduation to receive my diploma I could not help but be emotional. I had made it to the day that for so long, I had hoped I would never make it to. To say that I was proud of myself would be an understatement; I was ecstatic. Not only had I quite literally survived high school, but I am now thriving! I am on fire for Jesus! I am going on a nine month mission trip! I am at peace with myself! And that, that my friends is a story of redemption!
On Monday, I not only graduated from high school, but I also closed that chapter and have stepped into the next chapter of my life. A chapter without depression’s death grip on me.
