This past month in Honduras was hard. My team was going through some division that needed to be worked out. Our ministry lacked communication and there were days that felt useless. And I personally was struggling emotionally as I battled it out with the devil. On top of that was the inability to ever get away, have freedom… I felt claustrophobic. Thus giving me the right to complain and mope, right? Well that’s how I acted some days.
I had let the devil win. In my realization of defeat I began to wonder why I was so miserable. Why I was so broken for myself? And then it hit me… is that not the root of the problem? Shouldn’t I be broken for my team? Or for the hurting people at our ministry? Or for God? I, in my misery, was not helping anyone! And (kicker) it was making me more miserable. I was blinded by ME and MY, when “they” were standing right in front of me.
So now I make a choice. Every morning when I get out of bed I choose to make the most of that day. I choose to be intentional with my time, with people and the places we work. I choose to realize that it’s not all about me, but about God. And when I make that choice, suddenly a frustrating situation has a light to work towards. I’m not perfect and I still wake up on the wrong side of the bed sometimes, but living my life to bring joy to others has a crazy way of bringing joy to me.
My last nine days in Honduras were blessed. I finally realized that there was more to the “compound” than restriction. There were kids desperately awaiting my love and attention. And when I finally woke up, I realized I was waiting for theirs too. So thank you to Luis, Ariel, Daniel and the all other kids on the property. You impacted my life and will forever have a place in my heart.
