Sometimes life on the race feels like nothing more than a series of goodbyes. For four weeks we share everything: stories, laughter, tears, meals, our hearts and Jesus with the people we meet and then suddenly, all too soon, time is up and we move on to the next country only to repeat the same series…11 times. Sometimes it feels like too many goodbyes, too much heartbreak, too many tears.
Driving away from the 23 children of New Faith Family Home in the Philippines was heart-wrenching. As I gave last second hugs through the van windows and blew kisses as we pulled away, it was all I could do to keep from falling apart. On that car ride, in the midst of my brokenness, the Lord continually reassured me that His grace is sufficient and that it is He alone who gives me the strength to love and to give.
Throughout the race He continually reminds me that it is when my heart truly belongs to Him that I must give it away. He tells me that whatever I have done for the least of these, I have done for Him. When I give a piece of my heart away to a sweet 5 year old girl in the Philippines who loves barbie dolls, climbing, hugs and kisses or a funny 11 year old boy who loves watching any movie with a mouse, teasing me, and listening to Katy Perry’s “Roar,” it is an offering to Him. And I am amazed that he accepts my small heart-offering, that he sees the pieces of my broken, sinful, prideful, impure heart as a gift to Him. My prayer is that he takes my heart-offering and multiplies it. I long to continually be like the boy who simply gave his lunch, just 5 loaves and 2 fish to Jesus and watched in awe as He used it to feed 5,000 people. My prayer is that, through His grace, a month’s worth of hugs, kisses, worship songs, devotions and laughter would have a larger impact than I could ever ask or imagine.
And so even when it hurts, I will give a little piece of my heart up as my offering to Him, my fishes and loaves, knowing that He will do the rest.
This sweet girl will forever have my heart.
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