I was in the older girls room at the orphanage the night before we were leaving. I had hugged the little girls told them I loved them and walked away as the others put them to bed. I hugged the older girls and told them I loved them and gave them notes and pictures. We said our “see you laters” and surprisingly no tears.
I had promised myself I wouldn’t cry but I didn’t really think I could do it. Feeling surprisingly strong and confident in my calmness I headed over the boys side to say goodbye.
I knew that I could make it out of there ok. I looked across the hall to the boys area and Nana Yoli stepped out of one of the boys rooms with big tears in her eyes. Nana Yoli is the boys house mother. She is a beautiful older women with dark hair sprinkled with gray highlights. Her normal smile was wiped off and replaced with a half hearted grin obviously being used to hold back a greater show of emotion that she didn’t want to give in front of the kids.
I walked over and hugged her Neck. “You stop it Nana Yoli,” I said, ” I promised that I wouldn’t cry tonight.” I saw that the boys were already in bed so I resigned myself to a wave goodbye but Nana Yoli insisted I go in. I hugged the older boys and told them goodbye then went in to the younger boys room.
The littler boys were laying in bed but when I walked in J jumped out of bed and wrapped his little arms around my neck and hung on for dear life. I pried him off and put him back in bed. Then one by one all 5 boys gave me their best hugs and kisses and I put them in theirs beds and said good bye.
I was thinking to myself. Check, still no tears.
Then from the bunk on the left I heard M say. “Tita Rachael tell us a story.” a unison “yay!” came from all 5 beds. I proceeded to tell them the classic tale of 5 boys in the best room of the castle not going to bed on time and princess Yoli having to call in the guards to get them to sleep. They laughed and I again said goodbye. Then from the same bunk again I hear, this time in a soft spoken, not a, I will do anything to not have to go to sleep voice, say, “Tita Rachael, will you pray for us?” As the lump in my throat began to grow I pushed out the words, “Of Course I will.”
I said lets pray and all 5 little boys in there little Pajamas in there little beds bowed their heads and closed there eyes as I talked to their father and asked Him to bless them and grow them up to be mighty men of God that would bring His glory to all the nations. That He would show them how much He loves them and how much He cares for them each.
I kissed them all on the head again and walked out the door. The lump subsided and I made it out with my promise intact but my heart broken forever.
