“Shit.” My first thought as I hoist myself up off the ground, peer outside the tent, and realize Julie and I are once again the last 2 people still sleeping.
I leave Julie to rest a while longer knowing that she will follow me soon enough. She informed me yesterday that she dreads the moment I leave our shared tent because then she knows it is time for her to wake up. So I told myself I would sleep in as late as possible in a thoughtful effort to give her more rest.
I lift myself out of the tent and hear the children downstairs laughing as they complete their morning chores. The little rascals have been up since 6 A.M. I don’t know how they do it every day.
I sit on the toilet and enjoy the solitude while I can- before I walk into a mob of loving little ones.
As I open the door to our tiny room I find myself thinking, “I’m so tired, God; I just don’t think I can give as much as I did yesterday.” The door shuts behind me, and I walk downstairs.
“Good morning Rachael Dede! How are you?” Sonali asks with a big smile.
‘Dede’ is a term of endearment and respect I believe; it means older sister, and the children started adding it to my name a few days ago. This immediately warms my heart, and I respond:
“Fine. How are you?”
“Fine thank you.”
Our conversation is over as this is almost all the English the children at the Karunalaya Orphanage can speak- other than a few random words like “games?”, “Come”, “Love you”, “Miss you”, and my personal favorite, “Frisbee?”.
The Karunalaya Orphanage in Kohlapur, India is special because it is one of the only orphanages that provides a home and love for children with HIV/AIDS. Most people turn away these children out of fear. So many of them have been repeatedly rejected and treated with fear by neighbors and families for much of their lives. That is until they find their way to the orphanage.
It is run by Pastor Anand, his wife, his mother-in-law and his 2 children. I’ve never met a family with so much to give.
Karunalaya means “Compassionate”, and that’s exactly what this place is full of: compassion. The stories I heard about how each child got there are unbelievable; full of death, abandonment, and misfortune. Many of the children have been their half their lives or even their entire lives. Yet they are still filled with so much joy, hope, and love for God. They pray together daily, and they love to sing worship songs. They trust Him with everything, and it made me feel weak and foolish for constantly doubting that I can trust God. It made me wonder: “What am I missing? They understand something I do not.”
Anyway, I digress.
After saying good morning to the rest of the children, I go into the common area for tea. Tea time has become my favorite time of day in India.
After tea, I gather myself then head outside to play with the children before they head to school.
They all have the opportunity to go to school through 10th grade. Then they have to start paying for school. The beautiful thing about this is that many of the children who have come through the orphanage have been sponsored by generous people, completed their college education, and now live and work throughout different cities in India as happy, medicated (remember they are still dealing with HIV/AIDS) adults. The pastor was told not to waste any time educating these children because they would not live to be much older than 10 years, but he trusted that God had other plans for them; and he was right.
Anyway, I play with all the younger children because the older one’s are always busy with morning chores (the kids range in age from about 5-21 years old). I stopped trying to help the older kids with their chores a couple of days ago as they were always shooing me away, pulling my hands out of the laundry bucket to send me to tea time, or just taking the broom from me with a look of, “What are you doing. You aren’t here to do that.” This was tough for me at first because I WAS there to do that; I was there to help in any way possible. However I learned that culturally it was foreign to them to receive help like that from guests- this made me laugh because every child I know back home would be all about some help with their chores. I also learned that mission work isn’t always what we think it should be- sometimes it’s just spending time with kids.
While I’m playing with Sonali (I absolutely loved her) she excitedly tells me, “Holiday! No school! Stay home!”
No school? You all are staying home? Ooooooh, it dawns on me that I’m going to need a lot more energy than I planned on having if the kids were staying home from school that day. I do my best to match Sonali’s excitement, “Oh? No school?…That’s great! We can play all day!…”
I quickly become sluggish and disheartened that I won’t get down time while the children are at school- worn out from not having a real day off since we got to India almost 3 weeks ago.
Surprisingly though I find myself picking up the pace, playing hard, and honestly enjoying every moment of it.
At one point, my teammate Graham threw a water balloon off the top floor and onto all the girls doing laundry below. This lead to a huge water balloon fight! We were all soaked by the end of it.
We later played hand games, laughed, threw the Frisbee, and just got to know each other as best we could without sharing a common language.
To top it all off, we ended the night with a MASSIVE dance party in one of the rooms. 16 boys, 7 girls, the pastor’s 2 children, some neighborhood friends, and 7 white people dancing like white people. It was a spectacle to behold. We were spinning, laughing, learning Indian dance moves, and Sweating for a solid 2 hours.
After all this excitement and sweating, we all happily go downstairs for prayer time. We sing songs for the children, the children sing songs for us, and we get to pray over the children.
I crawled into “bed” (my sleeping bag liner on the floor) exhausted that night, but my heart was the lightest it had been since arriving in India. God reminded that day of why I am in India, why I am on the World Race really: for growth, love, challenges, etc. He showed me that just because I don’t have a lot to give when I’m tired doesn’t mean He doesn’t have something more to give- He uses us even when we don’t think we can be used. I guess we just have to be willing- I don’t know, I’m still learning.
I think my team and I pushed ourselves too hard this month. We can’t go at this same pace for the entire 11 months we are gone. That being said, I’m glad we did it this month. I’m glad we spent all that time with the children. I know it meant a lot to them, but it also meant a lot to us.
I hate the word “ministry” because I think it’s just a silly, forced term used to describe simply “doing life” with people. And that’s exactly what we did at the orphanage. We didn’t heal anyone, “save” anyone, or build anything. We just laughed, played, and loved those whom the world has forgotten but God still sees.
