You’ll Know You’re in Uganda When…

You’ll know you’re in Lira, Uganda when…

• women walking down the street carry yellow water jugs on their heads while simultaneously balancing a baby with a bowl over their heads to shield them from the sun on their backs

• stones are laid out in the middle of the road like an obstacle course to encourage swerving

• drivers avoid the pock-marked paved roads in favor of the dirt road shoulder of the opposite direction

• bicycles come equipped with a padded seat over the rear wheel for an additional passenger

• enthusiastic greetings means a warm, excited smile and a firm gripping handshake accompanied by the girls kneeling down on one knee and the boys standing in first position

• meeting a mzungu warrants extended goodbyes which rival the operatic dying arias that revive and extend for another fifteen minute song

• “baby class” students scream and run away crying when the mzungus extend their hand as a gesture of greeting because they think mzungus will eat them (Alpha Boarding School – Amputi)

• towers of bricks are covered with mud ready for firing near mud huts with thatched roofs

• children chewing on sugar cane leap into the weeds on the side of the road at the sound of a car horn

• your prayers for a little boy with a continual heart condition sends him home healed (Aaron at Lira Referral Hospital)

• over 20 prisoners accept Jesus because you preached the gospel truth in love (Erute prison)

• a deaf and mute patient in the hospital requests that you pray over him (Christopher at Lira Referral Hospital)

• a memorial marks the mass grave of victims of the Lord’s Resistance Army’s massacre on Barlonyo on February 21, 2004 killing over 350 men, women, and children, leaving behind a community of widows and orphans, who are rebuilding and redefining community

• Pastor Johnson invites you to pray during their nightly family devotional and prayer time before “supper”

• fresh tropical fruits like popo, jack fruit, mango, bananas, or pineapple are served with breakfast

• twenty live chickens hanging upside down tied to the bicycle handles by their legs no longer causes you to stare

• seeing another mzungu raises your curiosity about their business

• teaching Bible to Compassion International sponsored children on Saturday morning means competing with the noise of every other teacher and class because the straw dividers don’t block out sound

• cleaning the floor of the church before Sunday services means several ladies on their hands and knees with rags and water buckets

• musical instruments are learned by ear and not by sight

• small billboards along the road encourage abstinence to prevent HIV+/AIDS, STDs, and early pregnancy

• drivers drive over speed bumps diagonally into the “lane” of on-coming traffic

• the paved part of the road is only wide enough for one vehicle going down the middle of the road, fortunately or unfortunately, there are no lane dividers or markers

• there are only three weather patterns: hot and rainy, extremely hot, and hotter.

• Avocados and bananas are carried down the road on a tray on top of the head

• you are given a Lango nickname, such as Opio meaning twin for Sam, Akullu meaning well or fountain for me, and Akello meaning one who follows twins for Monica

• a ten o’clock appointment becomes ten thirty, which becomes after eleven, which becomes almost ready at eleven thirty, oh wait, no, after twelve o’clock. TIA!

• footlong fruit bats hanging from the trees in the local park awaken and poop on you

• a cold shower is welcomed daily

• squatty potties are the norm

• local laundry facilities consist of a bucket of soapy water, a bucket of slightly soapy water, a rinse bucket, and an outdoor clotheslines and Uganda’s sun which dries clothes in no time

• blinkers are used to greet neighbors as well as signal an impending turn

• hospital beds are lined up in one room and privacy is just an American luxury

• a mzungu at the local sports complex draws the attention of locals and gains the respect of “master,” which becomes a ministry opportunity for prayer and Bibles to be distributed

• Pastor Alfred says, “Sister, I know you need Jesus!” to a stranger on the street, then proceeds to have a conversation with her and we pray healing for her husband, who recently had an accident

• rice and sugar are expensive commodities and maize flour is sold in 100 kg bags (equivalent of 220 lbs)

• local transportation includes “footing it” and taking a “boda boda,” (pronunciation: boh-da) either a motorcycle or bicycle taxi

• a fresh chicken is a customarily reserved for special and honored guests

• “sure” is pronounced shu-ah with the voice rising