When I was a child, I was told that God wants us to “forgive and forget,” that forgiveness is not truly complete until it’s forgotten. I was taught that if I did not forgive my friend, God would not forgive me. As I grew older, I realized that forgiveness does not mean forgetting. And I was encouraged to begin the process of forgiving by praying for the one who hurt me. It took me many years to fully forgive someone who hurt my brother when we were children, even though my brother has no recollection of the offense. I thought I had figured out this forgiveness thing, until I was recently confronted by my own need for forgiveness.
Shortly after beginning a family devotional on activating the power of life and death through our choice of words, I made a poor choice of words and meaning and a serious error in judgment that broke the trust of one of my teammates. In addition to suffering the natural consequences of broken trust and repair in relationship after apologizing, I have begun to recognize just how deep my need for mercy really is. I have never admitted out loud that I thought I was an angel, but it certainly felt good to be the “good kid,” even though my parents could tell countless stories to the contrary 😉 While I’ve always understood that I do bad things, I also believed that I wasn’t as bad as the murderers and thiefs. Still, God’s word says I am just as sinful in His eyes because sin completely separates us from Him, no matter how big or small the sin.
Fortunately for me, the story does not end here. God’s word also says:
- “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24.
Istanbul sunrise over the Bosphorus
- “Speak and act as those who the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!” James 2:12-13.
- “Once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” 1 Peter 2:10.
Recently, I have repeated these verses over and over again as God’s promise to me. No matter how deep my brokeness and how wide the chasm I have created between me and God, He has created a way to reconciliation through His mercy and grace. Because of His great love and incredible mercy, I am reconciled. Even though I am not good, He still accepts and loves me; not because of anything I have done or could ever do, but because of His mercy. So, if God can forgive me and heal my brokeness in His mercy, maybe I should do likewise and forgive myself.
