I was able to spend some afternoons with Spurgeon last month. This was from my journal and also happens to be something I am learning this month in Thailand.
Preface: Psalm 143:5-6 "I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that You have done; I ponder the work of Your hands. I stretch out my hands to You; my soul thirsts for You like a parched land."
My prayer for a good while has been for the LORD to cause me to be so very thirsty for Him that I am like parched land. Cracked and dry, simply craving a drop of His mercy and love. In my unbelievable thirstiness, all I want is Jesus, He is the only One who can give me a drink that satisfies. He is the Fount of Living Water & I desire to be filled up to overflow. In this filling up, I also still want to remain thirsty, never full- always wanting more. It's a weird paradox that I desire, to crave GOD so much while also getting so much of Him- in fact, overflowing with Him, while maintaining a deep passion for more. Never satisfied. That is what I have been all month and it has been so sweet. (also kind of funny, I have hoed a field every single day this month and some of the ground is really dry and cracked… reminds me of where I want my faith)
…
"Faith is receiving Christ into our emptiness. There is Christ like the conduit in the market-place. As the water flows from the pipes, so does grace continually flow from him. By faith I bring my empty pitcher and hold it where the water flows, and receive of its fulness, grace for grace. It is not the beauty of my pitcher, it is not even its cleanness that quenches my thirst: it is simply holding that pitcher to the place where water flows.
Even so I am but the vessel, and my faith is the hand which presents the empty vessel to the flowing stream. It is the grace, and not the qualification of the receiver, which saves the soul.
And though I hold that pitcher with a trembling hand, and much of that which I seek may be lost through my weakness, yet if the soul be but held to the fountain, and so much as a single drop trickle into it, my soul is saved."
- The King's Highway Opened, Charles Spurgeon
…
Grace upon grace.
You are the Fount of Living Water.
Water crisp and pure.
It pours forth from You, O LORD.
I am so empty.
Thirsty, I crave a taste.
A drip.
Quench my thirst.
But leave me wanting.
I don't want to be full.
I want to always need to be filled by You.
I bring my empty pitcher and hold it to where the water flows.
I receive grace.
Fullness.
I overflow, yet am parched for more!
I am but the vessel.
My faith is the hand which presents the empty vessel to You.
To You, the only True Flowing Stream.
It is Your grace.
Your presence.
Your mercy and love and goodness.
It is You which fills me again and again.
I hold that pitcher with such a trembling hand.
I believe, please help me with my unbelief.
It is great.
Though I hold that pitcher with a trembling hand, my soul is nourished.
Help me.
Hold me up to You, my Fount of Living Water.
