It was over lunch with one of my closest friends. Suzie sat across from me at Panera Bread. We caught each other up about everything the Lord had been doing in our lives since we last saw one another. Suzie was in the process that I had recently been called out of, applying to graduate school. The stress that comes from all the applications, letters of rec., class schedules, lists, forms, essays, grades, etc. cannot be overstated. We were both embarking on exciting new adventures. She filled me in on life in Austin, Texas, and I followed with life back in Dallas. I began to unpack how the Lord called me to missions and The World Race in particular, and Suzie hung onto some things that I thought were minor, in-passing, comments.
Here's my story:
Every journey to my homegroup takes me 20 minutes south into Dallas, without traffic. Each Thursday night I take highway 75 and exit at Lovers Lane. I turn right on Lovers, so I am in the far right-hand lane. No matter how far away I am from the other side, I see a homeless man standing at the intersection, pleading for someone to have mercy and give him some money, or maybe just to have compassion. One particular night as I was about to turn, the Spirit burdened me with him. I felt that I must get out of my car, hug him, pray for him, tell him he is loved much, then give him a few bucks.
I remembered when Jesus healed group of 10 men of leprosy, recorded in Luke 17. They called out in a loud voice, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!" What gets lost in that sentence is that the called out! They screamed out to Jesus, "Have mercy, Adonai!" The fact that they must yell out to Jesus shows that they were far from Him. Not only did leprosy affect their bodies, but it also affected their social standing. They are outcasts, so they cry out from a distance. I feel like the homeless today in America are like those lepers. They cry out from a distance with signs, pleading for mercy, instead of their voices because our windows are up- or they are going up when we see them.
Of course, after being nudged by the Holy Spirit, discouragement and lies from the Enemy begin to *pop* into the air.
"He's dangerous, what's he gunna use it for, you're late for group, people will think you are weird, let someone else do it."
What I hated the most out of what I heard him hiss at me was the latter statement. "Let someone else do it." Logical, right? There are what, 20+ cars that pass this intersection every 2 minutes-ish? How many people actually notice the man at the corner, and ACT? Some of them at least. "They can take care of it." But as I thought through all of this at the light, I realized that I had wasted more time thinking/rationalizing why I should do what I was burdened with doing than actually getting out and acting on it!!
"Let someone else do it." Why would I let someone else do what I was called to do? I pray for God to open my eyes, to give me His so I can see the way He does… but maybe I should add to that prayer His feet to move in the direction He shows!
The light changed because I was too afraid to get out. I was scared of what the 'business people' in the other cars would think about me if I got out and associated with that man. So I turned right and went on my way.
I saw a side street and felt a burning in my heart that I should park and go to the man and show him Christ's love. I rationalzed over and over thinking about why I should go to homegroup instead of go and serve Jesus. Every driveway and each side street caused the same burden in my heart and mind.
A week later I saw another man on that street. This time I had my seatbelt off, and my hand on the door. I was ready to go. It was perfect timing! The light just turned red so I had plenty of time to go and share Christ's love with him. I sat… and sat… and did not go.
"Go, now… You could be there right now. Now, go.. Phillip, go!… You could have been there and back in your car by now."
The Spirit was nudging me over and over and the only thing holding me back were dumb, silly questions. "What if the light turns green when I'm there? What if people honk? What will they think? What if he doesn't even respond to Your love?" Blah, blah, blah. The only thing my questions and doubts accomplished were to keep me from serving God. I glumly put my seatbelt back on, put the money back in the compartment. I turned right and immediately felt sick. I felt physically ill! My stomach was aching, my head was spinning, and my heart was crushed. I felt the physical effects of grieving the Spirit. I was living in conflict to direct commands of God.
Ephesians 4:30 "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God"
1 Thessalonians 5:19 "Do not [quench] put out the Spirit's fire"
I cried out, pleading for Him to change me and make me more bold to obey Him. The short drive from there to homegroup was awful.
A few weeks later I drove up to that intersection looking for him so that I could do what the Spirit of God has called me to do. But I didn't find him or any other homeless person… apparently, you just can't find a homeless person when you need one!
After telling that to Suzie, she comments, "Phillip, don't you think that is a parable for your life?" BOOM! "He was waiting for you to move. To take a step in faith, like you are now."
"Woah, it totally is, you're right... That's a revelation."
So thank you Suzie for pointing out the truth of God in everything.
Chris Tomlin sings a song, "I Will Follow". The chorus goes:
"Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow..."
Wherever we go, God is. Wherever we stay, He is there too! We are anointed for where we are to bring glory to God where we are. The hard part comes when we actually have to take a step in faith and move.
Psalm 139:8 "If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there."
Jeremiah 23:24 ""Do I not fill heaven and earth?" declares the Lord."
I'm finally listening and not asking questions. I don't have to know the future, or how He is going to provide all $15,500 for me and me team. I just have to trust Him. I'm encouraged that "He who calls you is faithful and HE will do it!" My Abba is able.
I am going to love others the way He loves me. I am going to move when He moves, no matter what people think or say. I want to be more sensitive to the Spirit's voice and more bold to do what He calls me to. I want to be completely unashamed of the Gospel of His amazing AMAZING Grace! I want to tell more people about Jesus.
Thank you, Abba, for calling me to this crazy, radical journey. Help me to trust You. Show me how to live missionally right here, right now, to the people that are right next to me.
…6 months
