Where we have buildings, they have mountains.
I see differences all around me. I wake up to farm animal noises. I watch the sunrise through the mountains. I smell the ripe aroma of sheep, goat, and pig feces. I taste the thick, minerals of the well water. I feel the sweat all over my body.
But do I feel like I’m in Albania, yet? No. It all feels like a foreign reality. A dream that I will experience one day. Something I’m still planning for in the future.
Why? What am I missing? What am I doing wrong? How can I change my mindset? How do I feel like I’m in Albania?
I. DON’T. KNOW.
And it kills me. I fear the day I get back from the race finally realizing that it’s over. It’s done. My time is up. Back to reality. The mission trip is over before it has even begun.
So I begin to analyze my every move. How do I become a better me? How can I be a servant and truly live, breathe, and feel this Albanian lifestyle? How can I do the thing?
“Be still and know that I am God.”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart.”
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul.”
“I’m not finished with you yet.”
We’ve been working a kids camp this past week and Friday was my day to be security. Which, in all actuality, really means sitting at a table making sure no kids wonder off, go into the wrong room, or get into stuff they aren’t allowed to have. With that being said, there’s a lot of me time. Perfect. Time to analyze. Time to reflect. Time to figure out what it is I’m doing wrong and what I can do to do it right.
As I look through the week, I begin to smile. Monday was rough. Working with kids is difficult as is, but throw in a different culture, lifestyle, and language? It becomes nearly impossible for an awkward girl like me. Realization? I definitely felt like I was in Albania Monday due to the language barrier. Tuesday was incredible. My group had the chance to play soccer and you bet I took full advantage of that. I quickly found out that I don’t have to verbally communicate to form bonds. The game itself brought me closer to the kids. And having one of the boys come up to me afterward and say, “You play good” almost brought tears to my eyes. I definitely felt like I was in Albania Tuesday due to the joy I experienced through soccer, smiles, and simply being present.
The list goes on and on. Wednesday through Friday were great. Seeing these kids grow in their comfort with us “Americans” was awesome. Not only that, seeing my squadmates grow in their faith through these kids was spectacular. We didn’t get to share much of the Lord because the relationships Lightforce is establishing in this community are still new; therefore, we didn’t want to ruin them by pushing too soon. However, we got to love on the children, laugh with the children, and listen to the children (without always understanding).
“Do You Feel Like You’re In Albania, Yet?” Yes and no. Part of me still feels like I haven’t left for my mission trip. Part of me still thinks this is just a precursor to the real thing. Part of me is still scared I’ll be on my way to Romania before it fully hits home. But the rest of me knows it’s okay. God is using us in some pretty amazing ways here. By working with these kids, by feeding baby goats, by attempting (and failing) to milk mama goats, by castrating some baby pigs, and by moving hundreds of pounds of farm food, we are establishing a foundation here. We are strengthening the bonds in Albania. We are laying the ground work for some remarkable spiritual growth in this place.
Maybe I don’t always feel like I’m doing the thing. Maybe I don’t always feel useful. Maybe I don’t always feel like I’m in Albania, yet. But the great thing is it’s not about me. It’s all about he who created me. And when I stop and reflect. I sure do know that he’s here. God is in Albania. And for me, that is more than enough.
Until next time<3
