Training camp. Those two words haunted me for a month before finally attending the week that became the catalyst of my spiritual development. The day it arrived I was nervous and nauseated. I felt like I was entering kindergarten all over again and it aggravated me. Though I stress easily I don’t typically get to the state of feeling physically ill over something but training camp was out of the ordinary. I felt as if I was six-year-old Paul all over again searching for friends and longing to feel normal.
About two weeks prior to TC I had switched routes and was going into this day knowing only about a handful of people. This was a terrifying experience but exhilarating at the same time. It gave me the opportunity to interact with people without having preconceived notions. It was a clean slate for both parties. Quite refreshing.
Now let’s jump ahead to the bulk of the week and all the glorious things the Holy Spirit did in my life. If the Holy Spirit were a Genie my three wishes (prayers) were granted and then some. I prayed to break down the boundaries of doctrine/religion to see God in a fresh way and…BAM! Wish number one granted. I prayed that God show me my identity and what it meant to be a man and…WHAPOW! Wish number two granted. Finally, I prayed that God show me how to trust again and…SKADOOSH! Wish number three also granted. HOLY CANOLLI God is so good!
In my opinion, the Holy Spirit is the grindstone of Christian-self. He is the spiritual establishment that lays the groundwork of the future by incorporating things of the past with the knowledge of the present. He builds us, He breaks us, and He makes us.
This past week God did just that. He wrecked me. Shattered me. And then rebuilt me.
I have never had so many people speak truth into my life and pray for me then this past week. People that I barely knew had the ability to speak deep into my soul because of their obedience to the Holy Spirit. With each attack from the enemy whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual I had comrades who fought along side me. We DOMINATED the battle! And with that domination Christ’s beauty was revealed to each one of us.
For me, Christ showed me that I didn’t have to try and be anything other than the man He created me to be. That I am strong and a mighty warrior for His kingdom. That being a man of God is not one dimensional and is unique to the individual. That humility and gentleness are characteristics of the mightiest of fighters. That I have a role to play. That I belong. That HE DELIGHTS IN ME! That all He wants is for me to lean into Him and accept His love. Such simple truths but difficult to accept.
Oh! And on top of all the amazing things I just stated, I was also extended the offer to lead my team that I will be with throughout next year. Who da What?! Crazy. I am ecstatic to see all that God has in store for the seven of us and know that we will be fighting some mighty battles for the kingdom!
I would like to end with a challenge. I challenge every reader to allow God to destroy you. Allow Him to take all that you know of Him, this life, and yourself and flip it upside down. For we are all beautiful disasters being led by our Commander and it’s time to let Him do His job.
"I've finally found where I belong. I've finally found where I belong, in your presence. I've finally found where I belong, Lord to be with you." – Cory Asbury
My gucci team I will be with next year… N'Pursuit:
