“If to distant lands I scatter if I sail to farthest sea. Would you find and firm and gather till I only dwell in thee?”
I have spent the majority of my life finding in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy. My conclusion is that I was not made for here, that this is my temporary home. I am a foreigner, an alien to this world. I am not made for the mundane tasks of every day life. I am made for something greater, I am made to serve. I am made to live a life beyond the veil of familiarity. I am made to live fully alive in Christ, fighting the battle that is the backdrop of this world.
These thoughts have consumed me for the past couple of years yet when trials and sorrows come I fail. I lose the battle. Yet Christ ever so graciously picks me back up, dusts me off, and tells me it’s time to fight once again. You see, Christ is the commander and I am only one soldier in His army. My small battles are often lost but the war, the war is won. I am liberated from the bondage of this world. I am no longer chained to my sin I am free! I am alive. God is on my side.
I walk and I stumble towards my home, a land that I've never seen and all the while I am changing. I am less and less asleep, I am less and less blinded, I am made of something different from when I began. Though distractions infiltrate my thinking saying that living in the world is easier, God has whispered of a well-lit way, one in which He is my guide.
With Christ being my foundation and glorifying Him being my way of thought I want to be scattered to the farthest sea. I want to be pushed to new limits. Because to me the answer to religious complacency isn't working harder at a list of do's and don’ts — it's falling in love with God and sharing that love with others. God loves us so that we might make Him- His ways, His salvation, His glory, and His greatness- known among all nations.
Simply put…I want to blaze with Christ.
‘O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.'
The answer to Walt Whitman’s question resonates with me. I am here – life exists. The powerful play written by God goes on and my hope is to contribute but only a verse. For "I have come to see clearly that life is more than self. It is more than doing what I want; striving for what will benefit me, dreaming of all I can be. Life is all about my relationship with God. There is no higher calling, no loftier dream, and no greater goal than to live, breathe, and be poured out for Jesus Christ."
I have a crucial role to play in my life. This is an eternal truth that I am given yet I allow the tedious tasks and hassles of the day to blur how I see my journey. I have been blinded by a veil of who I think I am. There is a glory to my life and to all our lives that the Enemy fears. The story of our lives is a story of a long and brutal assault on our heart by the one who knows what we can be and fears it. This battle is not only true to you and I but also to our brothers and sisters overseas, to the unreached people groups yearning to know our Savior.
With this in mind I have chosen to go on the World Race. Adventures that will lead me to 11 countries in 11 months, forcing me to grow and be stretched farther than I ever can imagine. Pushing me to see beyond the facade of what I call reality and being introduced to a world of many cultures and people. I am ecstatic for what is to come, the good and the bad. I know this post sounds as if I am courageous but in fact I am not, I am intimidated. However, my intimidation does not overshadow my readiness to have the normalcies of my life ripped away so my dependence is on Christ and Christ alone. A weighted statement I am sure and one that I may regret once I am living in a tent, in a random country, with people I just met, without the comforts of home. But for now I will stay positively naive and keep on fighting the good fight!
Praying I write a small verse in Christ’s beautiful play of Redemption,
Paul
“For we are not long here. Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it. And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know You. Hope is coming for me. Hope, He's coming!”
