Early in December I helped organize a few Christmas events for the community. One of the events was a Christian concert. At the concert two songs spoke directly to my soul and I wept. That isn’t a typical reaction for me. The two songs were “Where I Belong” by Building 429 and “I’m Letting Go” by Francesca Battistelli. In the song “Where I Belong” the lyrics reminded me of my time on the mission field and how I was called to something more. The lyrics in this song repeat over and over “I’m not home yet, this is not where I belong, take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong.” In the song “I’m Letting Go” the lyrics reminded me of my journey over the last 3 years and how I believe God is calling me to start something new (my Kingdom Dream – which was exciting and terrifying at the same time). A few days later I started to order some of the equipment I would need to begin my Kingdom Dream.
December also marked the last time the lakehouse guys would be having our discipleship dinner with Seth Barnes Sr. It was a great night of fellowship with all of the guys and to end the evening Seth Sr. prayed over each one of us. When he got to me he spoke about God having a bigger plan for my life and to not be afraid of His plan. A few days later we had our last roommate dinner at the lakehouse and two of my roommates (Seth Barnes Jr. and Neil Bruinsma) both confronted me at the dinner table and asked me what’s holding me back from following my Kingdom Dream. Then they encouraged me to “just do it!”
A few days later I spoke with my boss (Weston Belkot) about how I felt like my time at AIM was coming to a close and how I wanted to start my Kingdom Dream. I told him about an opportunity to go to Uganda to help some friends and how I felt like God was leading me this direction. Then a few days later before I left for my recruiting trip to St. Louis, the marketing department had a meeting where we were passing around notes to each other. Each person was instructed to finish this sentence “start doing this…” and write it on a piece of paper and place hem in a pile. Then each of us would pull a piece of paper and read it to the person to our left. My boss kept reading these notes over me. Each one would speak to me differently, but the first one was the most impactful. It said “start trusting your gut decisions. You are smart and have so much to offer the team. Just go for it!”
