About a month ago, right after I made the decision the go on the World Race, I wrote this down while I was praying:
“SATAN IS SCHEMING! Does that mean that he sees me as a threat? Spiritual warfare is looming, expect significant escalation.”
Little did I know how right I was! Satan is scheming! And after seven years of being his enemy, he has gotten good at exploiting my weaknesses. He knows exactly what it takes to get ME off track from complete pursuit of Christ. Spiritual warfare is not a one-size-fits-all type of warfare: every believer is different, so every attack is uniquely catered to the victim.
For me, Satan knows that his best attack is by creating intense interpersonal conflict between myself and someone else. Not small little arguments that are easy to resolve. But rather the BIG ONES, that have the potential of completely fracturing a relationship.
“But if possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18)
It is an excessive and incorrect dependence on this verse that is often the source of my struggle. I desire peace. And when I don’t have peace, I get despondent. However, I’m not in control of the other person’s desire for peace. And even if I know that peace is on the horizon, the period between the conflict and the peace still hits me hard.
And when I am hit, my tendency is to retreat into myself. I cut others out. I dwell alone in my thoughts, often unable to get out of bed. I get tempted to self-medicate: drugs, alcohol, smoking, some sort of “buzz”, just so that I can temporarily escape the inner torment. All of this is sin, because I am so focused on my situation that I LOSE TRACK OF THE GIGANTIC GOD WHO ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN. I break the First Commandment: “You shall have no other gods before me”, because my circumstances become my god, and Christ disappears from my thoughts.
Satan’s scheming has once again resulted in me falling back on my favorite medication: smoking… But instead of hiding it, as I have often done in the past, I have chosen to make it known to you all. Instead of retreating into the shame of my struggle, I reveal it. Satan has no power over my public struggles, because his victory is in secrecy! So I ask all of you: friends, family, V Squad, please pray for me as I once again embark on the seemingly impossible task of quitting smoking. A one-man army cannot stand against a legion of enemies. But when my fellow WARRIORS are fighting with me, my victory is inevitable, because the King of Kings is our Commander!
V Squad: Satan will be scheming against all of us in the next 3 months and while we are on the World Race. But stand firm: “Be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:10-11) Do not let Satan deceive you into thinking that you need to keep your struggles secret. Shame is one of his favorite weapons. Fight in the daylight! You are not alone; I will be your warrior! Will you also be mine?
