After contemplating for about a week over the topic of discussion in this initial blog, I decided that contemplation should naturally be my subject of choice. After all, if you've found yourself here it's because you know that this is happening in my life, and I want you to understand how I found myself in this place. Ironically enough, this decision took very little contemplation.
Here's the basic rundown:
- North Carolina State University Graduate (a year early, mind you.)
- Media Communications degree, passion for film and sports journalism.
- Landed an internship with a production company. (hallelujah!)
- Intership program is cut for budgeting reasons.
- Found a full-time nanny position.
- Day before work starts, called to say they can't afford a nanny.
- Living in Raleigh, unemployed, desperate for work.
- Found a retail job, working full-time.
That seems like an awfully long list now that I've written it, and while I don't really enjoy recording these major events like inventory in a checklist, it will have to do for now. What I hope that you gather from this is that I came out of college eager to start living on my own, finally able to do what I love for work, happy as can be. But I found opposition everywhere I turned, and for a while it seemed like nothing was going to go my way. Through it all, I prayed. I knew that my God wouldn't let me down and that He had something in store for me in the midst of all this rejection. This isn't to say that my prayers weren't in the form of tears, or cries, or pleas! But regardless, I trusted, unconditionally, like any daughter of Christ would do.
Still, this doesn't answer how I came to be a part of the World Race. During this season of declination, I noticed that I was still well provided for. I have a beautiful historic apartment, that I would never have dreamt could have been mine, filled with every piece of adorable vintage furniture ever made, enough clothes to last me a good month and a half, a full refridgerator, a handful of friends to keep me laughing, and a family whose unfailing love never let me down.
Another long story short, and simply put, God spoke to my heart. And His message wasn't easy. "Give it all up." Every last bit, and go, serve my Kingdom. WHAT?!!? …. I wish that font could actually express how crazy I thought this idea was. I had been turned down from everything that I thought I was supposed to get after college, and He wanted me to give up the last little bit of hope that was keeping me going? Impossible. But then it got worse. I knew that I wasn't being commissioned for a two week mini-vacay mission trip to paradise, but I never imagined that God had planned for me a year-long trip around some of the most dangerous parts of the world. That's when the contemplation began. Can I do this? Is it right? Is it safe? Am I really supposed to go?
I was fighting it, but when I let go it was such a beautiful thing. I AM meant for this, in my life, right now. There will be plenty of time for all the things I think I want for my life, but this is meant for the present. I will continue to be provided for, and not only will my Savior take care of me, but He will allow me to further his Kingdom! What a beautiful blessing! When I think about those I will meet on this journey, how I will grow in my own faith, and the lives I will change and bring to Christ, I can't help but wonder why I ever contemplated this in the first place 🙂
I invite you to share this blessing with me, and hope that you will continue to read and prayerfully support me every step of the way.
we will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word. acts 6:4
