I took a long, hard look at my reflection the other day. Having just come from my last local doctors’ appointment I was weighed and found to be at a loss of thirty-five pounds since May. The interesting thing about that stare into the mirror was that the girl looking back at me was hardly recognizable, and not for the weight lost but for everything below the surface.
Battle wounds and bruises from a year that has just about killed me. Bankruptcy, foreclosure, purging the contents of an entire house, loss of income with employment contract changes, shift changes, a vehicle constantly on the fritz, an unstable, confusing, painful relationship as well as loss of friendships over said relationship and seriously jeopardizing health scares along the way. I believe an enemy army was unleashed to torment and prevent! Dare to dream a God sized dream and there will be an equal and opposite reaction from that dirty devil’s minions. I am weary from the fight, I knew there would be much to take care of to prepare myself for this journey with the fundraising, promoting, blogging, planning, budgeting, vaccinating, and shopping but throw in on top of that the other major life changes and there you have the story behind the battered, broken girl who right now just needs her savior every minute of the day.
When looking in the mirror you not only see yourself but everything that’s behind you. The only thing about the past you can change is your perspective of it. With that long look I started to see through the eyes of the Holy Spirit. I saw my identity in Christ. The Father’s love has been for His child. He has fought for me, He has never left me nor forsaken me, He has been patient, He has been kind, He rescued me as I slid backwards, not allowing me to sabotage my destiny. My keepsake from this rocky road are the stones of remembrance for my great God who has been at work in this temple. He has cleared it out with fervor, emptying the framework so that all I will have a vision for is the New Jerusalem that He is sending me out to be a builder for.
As I wrap up this year I think of the song “Heart of Worship” by Matt Redman.
When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longin’ just to bring
Something that’s of worth
That will bless your heart
I’ll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You’re looking into my heart
I’m comin’ back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about You
It’s all about You, Jesus
I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it
When it’s all about You
It’s all about You, Jesus
I am so happy to say goodbye to 2015! It is quite appropriate that I would be spending the last moments of it with my Jesus as He takes me into a new year with a new heart to focus on Him and all the wonderful things that are up ahead. Coming out of my season of mortification is resurrected life and strength for the tasks up ahead. I am ready to share all the joy that has been in hiding as He has worked out in me everything needed to be His missionary. With anticipation I have so much excitement for the journey that begins in one week! Happy New Year! Happy New Life!
