Pride. Fear. Two hindrances keeping me from sharing God’s incredible goodness and faithfulness during my world race journey, particularly in finances. I hadn’t planned to share this story because of my own pride and fear, but I would be robbing God of the glory He deserves.
The part of my fundraising journey that I’ve been afraid to share is that I’ve had the ability to fund myself since first being accepted to go on the world race. Initially after being accepted, I was planning to fundraise for the total cost of the trip because it was expected and normal. However, for the longest time, I felt guilty asking for money from anyone when I could fund myself. I procrastinated long enough that by the time our first fundraising deadlines approached, I thought my only option was funding myself. So that’s what I did for the first deadline before training camp and again for the second deadline before launch. I justified my actions by the busyness of working, moving, the holidays, but really I was just scared to ask. The money I have saved over the last few years wasn’t really mine in the first place, right? God provided me diligence in saving so I can use the money for His Kingdom. What better way than for a year long mission trip around the world?!
As soon as I left the country in January, I knew I should have allowed God to use fundraising for a higher purpose….to increase my faith in His provision, to allow others to invest in my journey, for God to use financial giving by allowing others to be obedient to Him. So as our third deadline approached of $13K, I decided I wasn’t going to use any of my own savings. I had faith that God would provide, but I also hadn’t put much effort into fundraising. So on the day of the deadline, I finally posted my first ‘real’ blog. And by the grace and goodness of God, a dear friend donated enough to meet my third deadline THAT DAY!
Jump to May 15th, my squad participated in a 24-hour fast for those not yet fully funded. Most everyone chose to fast from food. I’ve always been scared to fast from food, and actually, I don’t think I’ve ever really fasted anything else before either. However, this time, I knew it was supposed to be food. And I was actually excited about it. Partly to see what would happen to me physically, and partly because I was excited about exercising faith that this fast will bring about radical results.
Of course, my big revelation during the fast is the hardest one to admit, even to myself. I came into the day with faith and belief that big things will happen in all of our finances including mine. Don’t get me wrong, great things did happen, and I appreciate all the support and donations received. But if I am being honest, I was expecting more. I still had faith that God will provide, but we were going through all this ‘trouble’ of fasting so it should be immediate, right?
But really, He is showing me that yes – He is faithful and will provide. But it’s also going to be in His timing and not mine. On Monday May 15th, it was in my strength with what I expected would work. But really, it will be in His power and His timing so only HE gets the glory. Just because I fasted for one day doesn’t change what God has already promised to do. But it allowed me to be physically weak in order to hear Him more clearly and learn to depend on Him for my strength, in this case both physical and spiritual.
So Tuesday, the day after our fast, as the night draws to a close, I check my email and see a $1000 donation from a dearfriend not because of anything I did during our fast but because I shared the work God is doing in me. I was blown away and still am!! This kind of stuff only happens to other people! But now I get to experience the power and goodness of My God and encourage others through what I have seen. I get to be a witness to the faithfulness of the God of the universe, whose love is unending, who provides what is needed to carry out His will through us and in us.
After a few more weeks and several more God-ordained donations from loved ones and dear friends, I sit here at in Kathmandu, Nepal only $1,600 away from being fully funded. Ready and expectant for God to provide the rest because He has brought me to this place for a reason.
Will you consider helping me become fully funded? Will you see if God has something for YOU to learn in the area of finances? He is faithful to provide, I promise. He always asks us to be obedient for HIS glory, not mine or yours. Help me proclaim God’s goodness and glory through His faithfulness. Thank you for reading.
All my love and only for HIS glory, -Pamela
