Serbia: A month of pleasant surprises, seeing Jesus in mighty ways, and seeing hard realities of the world we live in. This month was probably one of my most impactful months thus far. And it’s always hard to compare months, because of all the factors. But this one definitely changed my life.
It looked a bit different as far as ministry day to day too, so I will explain how to give you more of an understanding of my month.
This month my team did what was called UH, Unsung Heroes, and ATL, standing for Ask the Lord.” Doing UH is searching out new ministries to potentially partner with for future racers like myself. The organization The World Race is a part of, is constantly seeking new ministries around the world to help and serve. This has been a very neat side to be on, especially since it’s for future racers. Already having done the side of being someone coming into a month with a set host and ministry to serve, I genuinely enjoyed getting to help find ones for future racers. Then, ATL, is basically what it stands for, praying about our day, and being extra intentional about who to love on throughout the day. It may sound crazy to some of you, but it is always so surprising who is put in our path, and always an encouragement to us and the people we’re meeting.
But at the same time it’s not surprising when I serve a God who loves to show those things to us and make connections all over the world.
There have been some crazy stories that when I sit and think about it, I ponder how it actually just happened. But that’s the Lord! Don’t worry I’ll get into some of those stories later 🙂
So as my team and I took on month seven in Serbia that I knew next to nothing about, I was surprised over and over again.
We sat around a table in Bosnia, researching potential ministries to visit and help serve.
My heart kept speaking, “Refugees.”
I knew there were Syrian refugees in that area, and I desired to work with them. I couldn’t get myself to actually research any other organizations, except ones that worked with refugees somehow. We sent some emails, and while waiting for some responses, we decided to go to a town called Visegrad.
There’s another small side story about how we picked that town. My team and I had been praying after we researched and my teammate got a vision of this bridge. One thing led to another, and we ended up at this apartment in the town of Visegrad right next to the bridge she had a vision of…like what?! Then we ended up meeting someone on that very same bridge that met another team of my squad at a conference in Bosnia. Now how does that happen?…
Just so crazy some of the connections that happened. And they only continue…
So we got in contact with a YWAM base, spent a week working with them, and eventually worked our way up to the north area of Serbia. On the way, one person would mention another organization, and we would get in contact with them. And let me say, Christianity is a “minority religion” here in the Balkan region. So it was a little more difficult to find Christian organizations to work with. But it always ended up happening somehow. Our last connection ended up being through my teammate, with a girl she knew from her home church. And get this…she was now working in Belgrade with refugees. The Lord! When I heard we were meeting up with them my heart was so happy. I could not wait. He knew the desires of my heart, and the girls on my team.
We arrived in Belgrade. We were so excited and ready to work with Syrian refugees. Well, little did we know, it just so happened we were working with Afghanistan and Pakistani refugees. WE were the ignorant Americans. That we didn’t even know there were refugees from those countries here. How could I not have known? How has the media not shown more about this? That all these terrible things are happening and hidden from our world at home…
Well I’m here to tell you friends about the single, most impactful week I’ve experienced on the race. I am here to use my voice for these men who are trapped in this life they don’t want, nor deserve. My thoughts have consumed me on how to wrap my mind around everything that happened, But I’m going to share pieces of my heart that have hurt me, made me question a lot of things about life, and shown me how privileged I really am as an American. But not only that I have this privilege, but to use it in a way others will hear about the injustice going on in this world.
My heart breaks.
I will give you a little background before I go into some stories. And to all of you reading this, I am no expert when it comes to all the information, but have heard a lot of stories first hand, and information from my experience and other volunteers. So I will try my best to explain it all well.
The refugees are men from Afghanistan and Pakistan who are fleeing their country because they are being forced to be in the National Army and Taliban. They don’t want to be part of the violence, and want a life away from all of it. They love their home country, the people, and wish they didn’t have to leave. I saw the sadness on their faces when we asked them if they missed it. But they want to get away from the terrible things they are being forced to do. I was reading a book called Son of Homas, and it talks about a lot of the Middle East, and what life is like there. I think us Americans have this only negative view on the Middle East. And don’t get me wrong, the government is corrupt, and there are terrible things going on, but it opened my eyes to the situation these people are in, and how they are just trying to get out of it. They have to take extreme measures to get out without being killed. Just like a lot of the men we made friends with. They left their families, home, jobs, and everything else to get out. To start a new life. And most can’t go home once they have left, because the government will have them killed if they come back.
(“Is this reality or a nightmare?” I thought…)
They live in what’s called the Barracks, an old train station that is abandoned, and not even considered livable. It is actually right behind the main train station that is still in use, and right near the nice areas of town. Belgrade is a huge city, and lots of people are in and out that probably have no idea this is going on. The men get fed one meal a day, and there are about 1,200ish of them. There is giant, open parts of the building where men have some tents set up, or just blankets on the ground. There is also small rooms with about 10 men sleeping literally side by side on the ground. The rooms have maybe a few blankets, and a backpack of their personal things. They live with basically nothing. They came from lives of having everything, to THIS.
And yet they are still joyful and welcoming. This is a photo of the spaces they live in. Some have been here from a few months to a couple years.
Since Serbia is technically not part of the European Union, when refugees get there, they don’t have to be registered. But also the government in Serbia is very corrupt. But the first country they then arrive in, they have to register in as their new home, seek asylum its called. They are all trying to get through Serbia into the father western countries. They are technically not granted the term “refugees” either because they are illegally here waiting till they can get out. They will try and border hop illegally, and the borders are only getting stricter day by day. Most have high electric fences, and police that have brutally beaten the men. And this is where I will share stories I heard first hand from the men I call my friends…
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It was Easter…A day to be celebrated about Jesus life and his resurrection. I finally got to go to church that day. But it was hard. Hard to be happy when all this injustice was happening around me.
My thoughts were saying:
“Jesus where are you?”
“I thought you were alive and HERE WITH US.”
“Doesn’t seem like it..”
“How are you letting this happen?”
Along with many more..
I sat in my friends bed just crying. Trying to make sense of it all. And that America had just dropped the biggest bomb the day before on their country where some of their family lived. And to be completely honest, I was really trying to see some joy in life that day. I was sad for them.
Even tho Jesus says….”It is finished.”
“Is it really?”
I wonder where he is when these bad things are happening to human beings. I thought he cared?
I was finally processing spending the previous few days with these men in the barracks. We had been going to the barracks and getting to know them for who they are as a person, which turned into hearing most of their stories. The things about home they missed, why they left, and the hopes they had about their future. But also the horrific stories of being beat by police, to then only be sent back to where they were previously, after going through hell and back to try and cross a border.
I was in complete awe of their joy, and just vulnerability in sharing their stories every day. But this day was different. I couldn’t mentally, physically, or emotionally get it together. I was feeling a million emotions at once, and confused beyond belief what my eyes had been seeing.
I thought…”How do I go back there tomorrow and have it all together?” It seemed impossible. And even more of a question…
“How do THEY do it?”
It blew my mind they didn’t ever really show sadness on the outside about their situation. But I know deep down inside they were feeling it. It was painful. They just want a life of freedom. They want to be treated like a human again.
The sides of the barracks were painted words like these..
“WORLD PEACE”
“I am a person too”
“We need help”
And so many more…
As we spent the week at the barracks, my feeling about the injustice only grew. My thoughts were challenged, grown, and my heart broke. Getting to build relationships with them, and genuinely say I have friends who are Afghani is such a privilege. My heart broke WITH them and FOR them. And so my friends reading this, I hope these words of mine have impacted you. That what we see as Americas is not always right. There is so much life outside our own country, and many people who are suffering. We are privileged beyond belief because we are American. The amount of people that are so intrigued to just talk to me because I am from America is crazy, and that is a privilege in and of itself. And I’m using my voice and privilege as an American so you will know about these horrific truths happening. Please don’t block your heart from it. IT IS REAL. And I pray my heart breaks every time I think about it. This was a week that impacted the way I will live my life forever.
As we got on our train to spend our off days in Budapest, Hungary, a few of the men sent us off. They watched us get onto the train freely, knowing they couldn’t. I couldn’t control my emotions again. That we can just hop on any train, plane or automobile and cross any border we want. Because of our nationality. And I’m not saying to feel guilty about being an American, but to realize your privilege, and use it for good. I wish I could have given up my place for them
I sat next to my friend Kori as the train pulled away, and just cried.
“Lord why is this fair?”
“Why do I have this privilege to go on a trip for pleasure, when these people have to suffer to try to get a better life?”
“Why Lord?…”
My thoughts were racing in circles.
I will tell you though, my days off in Budapest were filled with so many good things, but I couldn’t get my new friends off my mind. I still can’t seem to weeks later and I don’t think my heart will ever be the same after that week. I wish you could experience what I did to see it. To feel it in the depths of your hearts.
And it hurts, but changes everything.
It made me question where God was, but in the end turn towards Him more. To know that at the end of all of this crap in the world, Jesus reigns. He created everything and everyone on this earth, and His heart breaks for these people too. His heart breaks with mine as I’m feeling all of this I can’t comprehend. I can only do so much, well WE can only do so much. BUT, I know, and have to believe that Jesus is still good, and still faithful through all the bad. That Kingdom will come to this nation, and these men will be set free from war, violence, hatred, and so many more horrifying parts of their life.
But then I think deeper about what God says…
“He is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” -Pslam 46:1
God makes wars cease to the ENDS of the earth. He says, “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Pslam 46:9-10
He makes wars cease! He has done these miracles, and cries with these men because He cares.
I still have so many unanswered questions and whys, and it will be an ever ongoing circle of injustice in this world. But I am standing firm in this..
The Lord is Victorious.
And that even when it hurts badly, I will still praise Him.
Prayer Requests for this situation….
1.These men get to a safe country, and a country they can call home. They continue to follow their dreams.
2. Peoples hearts are opened and breaking about helping these people and their needs. Getting across borders legally, and homes to live in.
3. The barracks are now being destroyed and people are being deported to other camps, so prayers for them as they are moving places again.
4. They feel the love of the Lord, and find Him along the way.
5. They continuously find joy in the hard circumstances they encounter.
I could go on and on, and I dont even know if I am satisfied with these prayer requests…but please please pray.
Here is a few more photos of my time here…
A birthday party we celebrated for one of the men. We brought art supplies and cookies of course.. AND had a dance party 🙂
The girls we spent Easter dinner with 🙂
Some volunteers started an art class for the men to be creative and write on the walls of the barracks.
Thanks for reading the hard parts, while listening to my heart break.
Thanks for being part of my journey & for constantly supporting me in whatever way that may be.
I need to be fully funded by the end of this month, as a final deadline. If you still feel inclined to donate click the tab donate on my home page.
Thanks for the constant love.
With love,
Paige
