Today I had one mission: Distract myself from worrying about everything on my mind. Worrying about money, deadlines, doctor's appointments, gear, etc etc. I needed to turn off my brain and do some mindless busy work.
So what did I do? I cranked up my Barenaked Ladies for the Holidays (totally underrated and excellent Christmas album) and spent about 6 hours decorating the house for Christmas. And Santa smiled; because trust me the place looks like a Hallmark card and the North Pole had a baby.
As I was sitting on the floor untangling the 9 million feet of garland and sorting through the boxes of ornaments, I had a thought. It was almost as if I had one of those Christmas movie moments of clarity. The music was playing and I was staring up a big Christmas tree with a dove ornament in my hand. It was all very poetic.
It was clear all of a sudden: God's in control. Of course I say this to myself all the time but honestly, I can't tell you I always believe it. One of my favorite Harry Connick Christmas songs has a line that says "I pray on Christmas, that the Lord will see me through." Shouldn't that be our prayer everyday? Because no matter what, he will see us through. The money, the deadlines, the doctor's appointments, these are all tiny things in God's big plan. It's just like an ornament on a tree; it stands alone at first but then you take a step back to look at the whole tree and it's working to make the entire thing look beautiful. God has a plan for me. It's not going to be clear to me right now but eventually I'll see it and it's going to be beautiful.
Continue to pray for me as I get closer to my next deadline and donate if you can. Every little bit counts!
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