I will be home in 15 days.
I cannot believe that this crazy race is coming to an end. I am actually having a hard time. I thought it was going to be easy to go home. I was so ready. Believe me, I am happy to see my family again, I have missed them so much.
But there is a part of me that is so scared to go back home.
I was in church the other day and I just opened my heart to God. I stood there and I felt like a little child as tears fell from my eyes. I was so worried, but as soon as I opened my heart to Him, I felt Him look my way. I actually felt his gaze fall upon me. I was so overwhelmed that God in all his splendor and Glory would take the time to hear my cry.
Courage.
That is the word that He gave me at the beginning of this month. At first I had no idea what that meant. Courage for what? As this month has gone by, He slowly began revealing what this meant.
As I stood in that church, I prayed for God to give me courage. Courage to face the scary road that lies ahead. There are many things that I have to face that I will need God’s courage.
“Courage is when your afraid, but you keep on moving anyway.”
I am afraid of the dreams I have after I return home. Will I fight for them? Will I forget about them? For me, it would be easy to go home and just sink back into the same lifestyle. It was what I know to be safe and comfortable. It would be easy.
When I left home last September I stepped into a life that took courage. Many of the things we have been doing the last 11 months have been steps of courage. (Big and small) I don’t want that to change. I want to continue to live a life being bold for God’s Kingdom.
I am afraid that once I get home, back into all the comforts of home, (a.k.a. a bed) not surrounded by a community of believers that push me out of my comfort zone, will I continue to be courageous?
As I was praying, God gave me a verse.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
I have nothing to fear.
God has said that NOTHING can ever separate us from His love. And as long as I have His love, that is all I need. He is enough.
I will walk off that plane with a whole year of amazing experiences and growth in my backpack, and I also walk in confidence that God will give me the courage to pursue the dreams He has given me. I am excited for the next crazy adventure He is going to take me on. If He can take me to 11 different countries in 11 months I can’t wait to see where He takes me next!
Please pray for my squad and I as we make our final journey home. Pray for our hearts as we reenter a world that looks extremely different to the one we have been in for the last 11 months. Pray for our safety. Pray for our next steps. God is doing great things with these young men and women.
Thank you!
Love,
Paige
X
