I want to be open and honest with all my loved ones back home. I want you to know what has been on my mind today. It is home. Not a physical place, but a comfort. My home is my comfort. So I have been struggling today with the thought that I want to go home.
I am ok. I don’t want you to worry about me because I am fine. I am not looking for anyone one to fix it. I don’t want to go home. I also don’t want anyone to try to talk me through my longing and sadness. I know this longing is from God. He is calling me to Himself.
I know my flesh wants to be somewhere I feel comfort. I feel comfort when I am surrounded by the ones I love the most. I desire to be in a place I know. A place I am familiar. This happens to be back in Wisconsin.
I am glad that my certain circumstances wont allow me to go back to that place. I am thankful for the Father desiring that He be that place of comfort. I know if I were able to go home, I wouldn’t be satisfied. I can only find my true comfort and satisfaction in Him.
God is always with me. I am learning the importance in Him being my comfort. No one can take Him away from me. No matter how far I travel, I will never be without Him. I could loose everyone and everything back home and I know that I would be ok because I still have God. He is my comfort.
It is not the easiest thing to learn. I know that this month will be a struggle. But it is good. I need to learn this. I desire to let Him be my comfort. I want Him to be the place I can go. I might have to be in constant prayer. I also know that the comfort I receive from Him will be more than enough. He knows me. I am confident that He will come through for me.
I don’t want you to pray for me not to be sad. It is through this sadness that I seek my Father. I want to be really sad! Therefore I’ll learn what it means to find true comfort in Him. That is what I want. That is what I desire. I want Him to be my place of comfort. Praise him also for his great love!!!!
I love you all.
Merry Christmas!
PJ
