Growth. What does growth look like? Lets jump back to the Summer of 2012. During this summer I stumbled upon the realization that my relationship with Jesus was not what it was supposed to be. Yes, I was good at being a “good Christian.” I had been raised in the church, taught scripture, and fully understood what it meant to obey God’s commands. Not only did I talk the talk, but I even walked the walk. I had obeyed the teachings of the Bible and felt good about who I was because I knew I loved God and He loved me. I was proud to say I believed in God and strived daily to serve Him and His people. I was a “good little church girl” and thought I knew exactly what being a Christian was all about. What I did not realize, however, was how much I still needed to grow.
So here I was in the summer of 2012 realizing how I had done such a wonderful job at being a good Christian, but still felt like a failure. I was so good at being kind to others, going to church, talking about my faith…ect, but my weakness fell quickly with reading the Bible. I very rarely read my Bible. I couldn’t even begin to count how many times my “New Year’s Resolution was to start reading my Bible daily or just how many times I had started a daily devotional plan. Every time I tried, I seemed to fail. I would read maybe a couple days in a row and then would fall out of the habit shortly after I had just begun. Many days would go by and I wouldn’t even think to pick up my Bible and read it. During this summer of 2012 I realized I should be better about reading my Bible, but the saddest news yet was that I didn’t even want to read it. I found myself only reading the Bible out of guilt because I knew it was the right thing to do. I realized I did not desire…actually I didn’t even desire to desire to read God’s holy word. My prayer was not that God would all the sudden make me the best and most devoted follower ever. I started small and completely worked to rewire my thinking. I needed to ask God to help me not see the Bible as boring and an obligation, but to help me long for it. And that is exactly what He did for me! He showed me that His word is exciting. He gave me a desire for His word! This is an area of my life I am still working on, but it is so cool to see where God has taken me from and even more exciting to think about where He will take me as I continue to grow in my walk with Him!
