It’s okay to not be okay
Why do we always have to have everything together? Who said we aren’t allowed to be a mess? Why can’t just raw me be enough?
It took my whole life to prep for the World Race. All the mistakes and lessons that I have learned. All the wrong turns and people I have met have all prepped me to be on the world race. Being human and not being a cookie cutter image means being raw. It means that you have lived your own version of your life. Some may have had easier routes and some may still be trudging through the mud. But one thing I know for sure is that it’s ok to not be ok.
I am traveling with 56 other American World Racers. From the outside they all look well put together, have unique style and are all just so dang good looking. Everyone has nice smiles and can put on a pretty face. But as I take the time to get to know each of them, we tell each other our stories. And we all have one thing in common; we are not ok.
So many people think you have to be perfect to be a world racer. But let me tell you this, not one single racer I have met has ever NOT messed up. I mean I am traveling with ex drug dealers, users, and thieves. People who used to and still struggle with pornography, eating disorders and sexual sin. Everyone has been badly hurt by someone else and experienced extreme anger. And even though all of our stories start so uniquely twisted and messed up, they all end the same; “and then God showed up.”
“Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him, and receive eternal life.”
1 Timothy1: 12-16
A new saying that our world race has created is “Its ok that I used to suck, because so did Paul.” Before the Apostle Paul wrote more than half the new testament of the bible, he spent much of his life hating and killing Christians. But through his past, and experiences of living a messed up life, the healing and grace of God made him into one of the best known Christ followers of all time.
Having a painful past can seem like only a hindrance at times, but what many racers and myself are learning is that our pasts don’t break us but make us. We come out stronger.
We have been bumped and bruised, and then Jesus came and healed the wounds. That meant us coming to Jesus as we were. Messed up, broken, full of anger and hurt. We came to Him raw and He accepted us. He embraced us in our sin. He looked at us and saw pureness. Even though we were not ok, Jesus still loved us. He gives us a promise that He will never change. He forgives us and pores His grace over us. Always. Period.
Sometimes you feel that you are still a mess, but that is sooo very ok. Walking with the Lord and letting him pick up the pieces, one by one, is what He does best. Accept that you are not perfect, but that The Lord welcomes your raw, messed up self.
Prayer:
Help me to stop evaluating how well I am doing; instead help me to be caught up with who You are and what You are like. I come to You as I am, with blemishes and weakness included. And I thank You in advance that You will complete the good work You have started.
