As many of you know, this past weekend I got the opportunity to hike Volcano Acatenango, the 2nd highest peak in Guatemala. Acatenango is dormant, but overlooks many other volcanos in the area, including Fuego, which is one of the most active in the world (or so we were told.) Knowing all of these details, I was excited to say the least. One of the reasons I love hiking so much is because of its parallel to spiritual journeys. It’s difficult, but so incredibly fulfilling in every aspect. While I’m hiking I can see God so clearly in His creations all around me, and I can feel His presence so distinctly inside of me. His strength doesn’t just carry me every step to the summit of a physical mountain, but every step of life, through every valley and summit in my walk with Him as well. God used this experience specifically to speak to me in ways I wasn’t at all expecting.
On Saturday morning we woke early in order to begin hiking by 6:30 AM. The weather was beautiful and the scenery even more-so. We hiked through rolling corn fields, into mossy tropical rainforests, and finally into “alpine desert” feeling foliage of sage grasses and pine trees. Thin layers of volcanic ash covered everything, making it seem like a surreal dream. We arrived to the campsite a little before noon and began eating lunch. We were waiting for the rest of the group in order to set up our tents for the night. For me, the day could not have been more perfect and I eagerly awaited the moment we would get to the very top. The plan was to rest at the campsite until about 4 PM and then begin the short hike to the summit.
That plan quickly came crashing down as it began pouring rain right as the other group showed up. We frantically set up our tents while buckets rained down. The inside of our tents were soaked, we were soaked, and the cloud coverage blocked every thing around us from view. My tent mate, Lauren, and I had to strip off all our wet clothes and sat shivering inside our wet tent for about an hour. Everything seemed bleak. For a brief moment I didn’t know if I was going to make it. (a little dramatic, I know, but I was FREEZING). Finally we had the opportunity to mop the floor of our tent with a t-shirt and change into dry clothes. It rained on and off, and 4 came and went. We had hope of possibly summiting early in the morning if it was clear. Our guide, Jaime, who was only 16, acted as a saint and somehow started us a small fire out of wet wood. It didn’t supply much warmth but we were able to roast a few marshmallows and eat dinner. I had a surprisingly warm night of sleep, but when morning came it was still cloudy and drizzly. The clouds cleared for a moment while we were packing up so we got to see a big eruption of Fuego right in front of us, which was definitely a blessing, but as we began our descent down the mountain I couldn’t help but feel disappointed.
I was asking God why He would let me come all this way but keep me from seeing the magnificent view at the top. Why did my perfect day have to end in hours of misery? I heard Him whisper “Sometimes it’s more about the journey.” ………… What? But Why?
I pondered this thought for a bit. God reminded me that yes, the view at the top is the driving force, but I shouldn’t discredit the thousands of steps I took to get to the top just because I didn’t get to experience a few moments of “greatness.” What about all the moments of greatness along the way? As I became more and more at peace, the skies began to clear. We came to a point where there was another trail to the summit. 5 of us decided to summit since it was clearing up. We began hiking and the weather was beautiful. I was pumped that God was giving us another chance to see the top. With about 5 minutes left until reaching the summit, Fuego erupted and I could see the smoke just over the crest. I tried to climb quickly, as clouds were approaching. Just as I was breaking the final stretch, a thick coverage of fog swept in. I could barely see 10 feet in front of me. I had made it to the summit but could see nothing. We could hear Fuego erupting right in front of us but couldn’t make out any part of it.
Again, I asked why? Why would You give me another chance and let me get my hopes up just to be let down at the last minute? I thought this second chance was an example of Your faithfulness. I didn’t understand the purpose of this. I heard God remind me that His faithfulness is not dependent on my circumstances. It is steadfast and ever-true, always, no matter what. That knocked me off my horse. Who am I to think I have the right to judge the faithfulness of the one who created all? What does God owe me after already giving me everything? We again began our descent and despite my mixed feelings, I began to process the realizations occupying my mind:
1.) We must soak in the magnificence of the journey. We don’t need to be wasting all our attention on what’s coming next. God has so much to show us right now with what’s right in front of us. The top is great, but sometimes it’s not all we expected it to be. What will we get out of any experience if we focus only on the “prize,” but fail to recognize the multitude of blessings along the way?
2.) The Lord is faithful, even if that faithfulness doesn’t necessarily look as our human minds think it should.
So I didn’t get to see the view at the summit, but I did get to learn a few things that would have gone over my head if I had. These lessons will certainly serve me better than a few moments of euphoric awe. I think that’s called faithfulness.
Exactly 2 weeks from today is my very last day of the World Race. What a journey it’s been (pun intended.) I would greatly appreciate your prayers to stay present these last few weeks and really soak in the blessings the Lord has for me in this time, and also for my re-entry. It will entail both sweet reunions and soul-wrenching goodbyes. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your prayer and support.
So much love,
Olivia
