God melts my heart over and over again. Exactly, when I begin to put walls up God melts them away. Seriously. You know when you start dealing with things and nothing seems to be improving? Well, that is where I have been.
I begin to open up then quickly I take a few steps back. Why? Most of the time I just don’t think people honestly care and are judging me. I know that is not the case here but old habits/walls die hard. I guess community had begun taking its toll on me more than I thought. I was getting irritated out of nowhere when the group would show up when I was enjoying one-on-one conversations.
Then this morning I was venting about things that had been irritating me. My attitude was still not where it should have been.
Lord, shouldn’t I be in a better place right now with you?
My child you are still growing. You have things you need to work through.
Papa, You know just how to reach the deepest parts of my soul. I can’t hide behind my walls or jokes with You. You knew exactly what You were doing by placing Brooke and I together.
Well, we had walked past the Orthodox Church a couple of days before and felt lead to pray there. When we walked through the gates we were quickly met with a heavy dark spirit presence. It felt like we were being pushed down. It was hard to breathe in there from the weight. We hung around praying for quite some time. Every time I was near the door the heaviness got worse. I sat down at a bench praying. The presence began to tell me “You are not welcome here”. As we left one of the demons attached itself to me. So we prayed it off of me.
We were both in bad spots and you melted away our hardened hearts. You flipped us upside down today. Thank You! When we prepared to see what you wanted from us today You showed up! Right when we closed our eyes You began to show us pictures of exactly where and who You wanted us to encounter. Awesome! Some of our pictures were even the same. Even the way I wrote them down on the paper lined them up exactly in pairs. Really Lord? You have a great sense of humor.
Every picture You revealed to us was checked off of our list as we found them. You knew the exact people who needed Your love and where we would find them. You even showed us on our knees. After the first encounter, You knew it would touch our hearts so much that it would bring us to our knees in the middle of the park in thanksgiving and praise. I had no shame in getting down to worship You in front of these people. Yes, I probably looked crazy to the people but I knew it was what I was supposed do.
Awww…then there was the sweetest man. We headed to our meeting spot to meet the rest of the group. On our way, we were still looking for someone with bare feet and someone with a camera. Out of the corner of my eye God showed me a man lying down without any shoes! What?! Are you serious?! We proceeded to walk over to this man. As we approached him we asked if he spoke English. He quickly jumped up apologizing and trying to put his shoes back on as if he was offending us. He introduced himself as Mitka and asked our names. As we told him our names he kissed our hands then held them to his heart. Again, God melts my heart. He is breaking this bitter doubtful heart. This man spoke very little English but God made our communication work. Words cannot even begin to explain the love and joy we experienced with our new friend. As we walked away with our group he was way across the street and down farther but was flinging his arms back and forth blowing us kisses. Without being able to speak full sentences to this man God blessed all of our hearts. Love needs no translation. Jesus, You ARE enough!
I love how God meets us right where we are at. We don’t have to be in the perfect spot or mind set for God to use us. We only have to be willing servants.
