Well, here we are…already at the end of our second month of ministry on the World Race. Didn’t I just leave yesterday? Pausing on this very moment and looking at what God has done, it seems hard to believe that it’s only been that long. When you allow Him to, God can do so many incredible things.
As I look back, not to wonder what I could have done differently or what I did wrong, I am able to reflect on all that God has done. I flew down to Miami on January 3 with my own agenda, making the bold assumption that God would fit His plans into mine. I wasn’t going to eat the unhealthy food. I wasn’t going to feel any love for the little children – and I certainly wasn’t going to get too close to them. I would show only as much love as I felt was needed, and then move on. I thought that was plenty for God to work with.
So, I was battling with God from day one. Can you imagine me trying to put God into my little box? Well, I was unable to contain His awesomeness, and He quickly blew my box to bits and knocked me for a loop in the process. What was I thinking? God doesn’t conform to my agenda in any way, shape, or form. He will patiently wait for me to realign myself with His will, but being the loving God that He is, He will let me wander around on my own and fall down. No matter where I land, He is always there to pick me back up.
I’ve made many mistakes already, but He’s forgiven me every time. He’s given me many challenges, and I have failed on some, but I have actually done well on others. God has taught me to stop worrying about myself and what I eat, what I touch, what I do. He has it all under control. Jesus said that it’s not what goes into your mouth that’s unclean, it’s what comes out! He’s taught me to pour out all of the love He has given me on the people of the world, unconditionally – from teaching the Word to evangelizing to playing with all the dirty little raggamuffins that I fell in love with.
I have given this year of my life completely to God. By doing this, I know He will work in my marriage. He will work on my attitude. He will develop my strengths. He will use my weaknesses. He will develop my character. He will challenge me to better myself in many ways. I am here because I accept the challenge God has given me. It will be an extremely tough year, but God never puts us into a situation that we can’t handle. I have already seen Him do many amazing things in the Caribbean. I’ve seen him touch people’s lives, and I’ve already seen Him do many things in me. I realize now that I won’t be the same person when I come home.
Sometimes, I wonder what the future will hold. In one week we’ll be on our way to Asia. What will Cambodia hold for us? What will I deal with individually? What will we deal with as a team? Will we be hungry? Will we be able to shower or do laundry? Will be cast out demons, see some miraculous healings, or bring many people to Christ? You know what? None of this matters. God has a plan for us for this year, so I have given up all my goals, all my expectations – the Lord will do what He wants with us, and it will be good! Think about us, pray for us, write to us, and fund us if you feel led – but know that God has my life in His hands.
In this moment, I feel such joy in my life. I am covered by the arms of Jesus, and there’s no place I would rather be. I have learned from the past, and I am excited for the future, but Jesus wants to live in this moment – and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. It is sad to think that we’re leaving the Caribbean, but God is calling us to Asia!
