Okay, so I don’t know if it’s just me…feel free to email me and let me know if it is!
How often do we ask a question, and no matter how much we want, need, crave an answer, we’re terrified to get it? I know that I have put forth requests, to God and to others, and then do not want to know the answer while at the same time, breathless with anticipation! It’s so backwards!
There are things happening right now for me that require a lot of answers. Some are things I think I have to figure out for myself (should I buy this backpack or that one?), some things, God definitely has to show up (how the heck does one raise $14,000 in a month and a half???) and some things, I have to count on others for (like an expert at REI or my lovely friends and family and strangers who want to step up and support me, for example!). But, really, is that more than everyday life? We always want answers. And, a lot of them are a long time coming. Usually after the ‘need’ for them has passed and we get to use that 20/20 hindsight vision.
How much faith does it take to move forward? For me, it feels like the world can’t contain the faith I ‘require’. But, the Lord tells us:
Matthew 17:20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
and
Luke 17:6 He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”
The ‘He” here is none other than Jesus. These passages make me think about the size of my faith. This BIG FAITH I seem to think I need is a false faith, a created faith, a loud faith. It’s a ‘flesh faith’, if you will…one I sometimes think I have to prove, whether it be to me or to the ‘world’. This is the ‘faith’ (yes…in my head I’m doing finger quotes) that shakes like Jell-o. This is the ‘faith’ that I get mad about or defensive about when questioned. This is the head-strong ‘faith’ that is used when my own insecurity comes to the surface. This is the ‘faith’ that is no faith at all.
I found this article on BibleGateway.com. It’s from Into Thy Word Ministries and it’s something that I’m going to be praying about and thinking about all this week. http://70030.netministry.com/articles_view.asp?articleid=33633&columnid=3803
Faith is knowing, with our little, human hearts, that it can’t possibly be done, but moving forward and knowing even more that God will come through for His glory. Because, in deference to the hokey pokey, that is what it’s all about ~ His Glory.
