Up until now my life seems to have been a consistant battle of questions and the search for their answers. I’ve always wondered about what’s next, why something happened, when things will work out, or how things fit together. Here on the race, it really hasn’t been much different. I’ve constantly tried to figure out the whys and hows of ministry selections, team and route changes, the funding, life after the race… and, I don’t know, say why I have malaria and am stuck on bed rest yet again! As I’ve found myself once again thinking about these things this month, I’ve constantly been reminded of this:
‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.’
Proverbs 3:5-6
With things being pretty slow this month I’ve had a lot of time to think about this. The more I thought about things, the more I’ve realized that God just doesn’t make sense. I mean, in a land that had never seen rain before, an ark was built. A young shepard boy knocked out a giant with a stone and then later became the Man after God’s Own Heart. Three men survived a firey furnance though the guards outside were burnt to death. The most infamous persecutor of Christians later became the boldest evangelist of the faith. The Son of God was born to a virgin teenager in a manager only later to make the ultimate sacrifice on a cross. What would have happened if these Men and Women of God wouldn’t have trusted God and relied on themselves?!
Even with my life, what really has made sense? How does a 21 year old become the parent of nine pregnant teenagers overnight?! Or why, after graduating with a masters degree, would someone leave her dream job to travel the world with only a back pack?! So, who then, am I to constantly question God?! Have I not been trying to live my life as the example Abraham gave in Hebrews 11:8, ‘who when called OBEYED AND WENT’, not ‘got all his ducks in a row, waited til he understood everything, and then went’?! Alana told us the other day that ‘God is just as much a mystery as He is revelation’. If I want to be a part in building this Kingdom… this mystery…I need to stop trying to always figure everything out and trust that God knows what He’s doing and ultimately has my best interest in mind!
