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I have a problem.
it’s called
Mary Poppins’ Syndrome. 

I think one might call it OVER DOING EVERYTHING. To function at my best, I need things to be completely done, completely in order, or completely comprehended or completely understood. 
You know… I love for the things around me to be  practically perfect in every way. 
 
Mary Poppins was one of my childhood heroes.   Do you remember when they tidied up the nursery?  What an EVENT! Not only did she add in an “element of fun” by making it a game, she turned the whole escapade into a musical! She sang with the birds, toy soldiers came to life; things practically PUT THEMSELVES IN ORDER and the whole thing ended with a gloriously clean room!  

Okay, some of you are thinking this is your worst nightmare… but it is a slice of heaven to me. 

In this case of teaching this month, I have this idea that somehow I need to get all the little words and phrases completely covered for each topic, with visual aids and activities and flashcards and songs about the lessons and….whatever.  You get the point.

I find the thing that overwhelms me the most is not feeling prepared, and that’s just how I’ve felt most of the week. 

I have to die to this; at least for these two weeks. It’s really hard for me to find the balance of “not stressing over things I can’t do” and “striving for excellence.” It’s hard for me to “relax and go with the flow” because I feel like I’m being lazy, I’m not prepared, or I’m not doing my best. At home, I would spend 3 hours prepping for a 1 hour Sunday school lesson. I want to completely know the material inside and out, get all my ducks in a row, and make lessons easy to learn and clever and fun and… you get the point. 

We just don’t have the time to do this. It’s the simple truth, and I’m dealing with it. I mean… I do have this fantastic 1 gallon baggie full of my “had to bring on the race” craft supplies. I’ve made a few tools… like this really cool paper clock with arms that move…  but I KNOW I could just as easily teach the same thing by drawing it out on the whiteboard. I find myself asking, “What is my time really worth?” Would it be better to spend that 30 minutes praying over my students or making a visual aide? This IS short term missions; not a full time classroom that I am preparing for. 

It’s time to make some decisions. I know I do NOT want this next week and a half to fly by without realizing what even happened because I’m too concerned with lesson preparations.  I also don’t want to sacrifice my creative flare because, well, God just made me this way.  I don’t want to find myself wondering what God did at the end of the month; I want to hear God’s voice and partner with Him as He’s doing it. 

I want to be intentional about praying over our students, loving our students, and intentional about sharing Jesus with them. I want to see them awakened to the reality of Jesus Christ!! That’s why I’m here!

Lord, I can’t do this without You. Show me how to find the balance. Thank you for Your Grace!