One of my favorite quotes is from a pretty smart cookie by the name of Eleanor Roosevelt. Maybe you’ve heard of her… It reads:
I’ve never really been a live life on the edge kind of a gal. I don’t
fly by the seat of my pants. In fact, I prefer quite the opposite. I
happen to like normal pants, thank you. I like the idea of safety,
organization and knowing where my life is headed. I’m an extreme Type A
personality. Try as I might to fight that, it’s just how I am wired.
If you had asked me at the beginning of college where I saw myself in 4
years I probably would’ve given you a very detailed description of my
life. Where I was living, my education, and advancements in my career,
the works. I’m pretty sure I even saw myself married at this point,
which is an extremely scary thought to me now.
That being said The World Race is probably one of the craziest things
I’ve ever done. Now some may roll their eyes and think that’s a little
pathetic. But in all seriousness, The World Race scared me to death.
The entire idea of it. It was my way of throwing caution to the wind
and jumping into the arms of Jesus. There is no other logical
explanation but Jesus, because my methodical mind would’ve never chosen
this year for myself.
Yet I look back and think of every situation I found myself in and how
scared I often was and I just want to shout. I have never been so
uncomfortable in my life. Uncomfortable with myself, my surroundings,
my community, you name it. Physically, emotionally and spiritually I
was uncomfortable at some point in the past 11 months.
I have no returned the land of comfort. For the past month I’ve been
basking in the glory of things such as: a bed, fluffy towels galore,
ice in my drinks, air conditioning and other awesome things. Some days
it’s hard for me to remember when I used to complain about my REI camp
towel that was actually made for one of Snow White’s seven dwarfs
(probably Grumpy, which reflected my attitude about it) or when I used
to lie awake at night dripping in sweat. That was only a month ago and
it feels worlds away.
I have so quickly jumped back into my life of comfort and safety and I
have to go back and ask myself if I’ve done something today that scares
me. Because it’s in those “scary as hell” moments I am so consumed by
Jesus. It’s seriously the best feeling in the world. I look at my life
now and I can’t see but a few steps ahead of me but for the first time
I am really learning to trust Jesus with my future. It’s not without
its freak outs and petitions for clarity, but the dreams He has for me
are big. Big and scary! And I have to say it rocks. A very weird
response for me, but I love how it has me so deeply nestled in the arms
of Jesus.
night I will be speaking very briefly at a missions night at my church.
If you’d like to come it will be at Hillcrest Baptist Church on the 3rd
floor of the Education Building from 6-7:30. Many of the students and
young adults who’ve been on missions this summer are going to be
sharing their experiences and what God taught them. I will get 5
minutes to try and briefly share a bit about my trip. I’m excited to
hear about how God is at work all around the globe, even here in the
U.S.
