I’ve been home exactly three weeks today, how is that even possible?
Time seems to be flying and despite being back in the states I’ve done
quite a bit of traveling.
First, sorry for the lack of blogging. Long story short, I haven’t been
able to use my computer since being home, but what I needed to get it
working FINALLY came in the mail today so I’ll be good friends with
your inbox this week with lots of pictures, videos and miscellaneous
blogs.
But for now I want to give you a glimpse into my re-entry process.
Things have gone fairly smooth, with only minor bumps and scratches
along the way. All in all, it’s definitely good to be back home but I
also miss life outside the states more than I imagined. So here goes
nothing…
I love how seamlessly God often provides. This year has taught me
to trust so much more in knowing He has a plan for me. The little
details seem to always make me smile. For years, I never learned to
bring the seemingly minute details to Him, though they were important
to me.
Before returning I prayed for more trust in this next season of
life and offered up a job to Him. Before I left on The Race, I sold my
car (another story of God providing- and quickly) so I also had no way
to get to a job. My first Sunday back at church a family who I’ve grown
up babysitting asked if I’d like to hang out with their kids this
summer. They’re old enough now not to need a babysitter but the parents
both work full-time so they’re paying me to hang out with their awesome
kids. Then my uncle just happened to have an extra car that he said I
could use until I eventually save up enough money to get my own. It all
came together so perfectly and I know that only happened because I was
able to allow God to lead. Who knew giving up control could feel so
good?
I have also been able to share a lot about my trip through various
outlets. My home church where most of my supporters came from has been
awesome about welcoming me home and I’ve been able to share lots of
stories to friends and in Sunday School. I’ve been asked to speak at
various places and am actually excited to share. Even more I enjoy how
God opens doors to share with non-believers.
My last week in Thailand I got a small tattoo on the inside of my
left leg just above my ankle. I have stars on the other ankle, but for my
second (and last) one I wanted it to mean something so I thought long
and hard about it. This year has been very much a road of redemption
for me. God has redeemed my heart, my past, and Christianity has also
been redeemed for me. One of my favorite books is Redeeming Love by
Francine Rivers, which wonderfully depicts how God chases us
mercilessly, and is bigger than any situation. I think that redemption
really began to fully sink in back in Israel so I had decided I want it
in Hebrew, then I had the tattoo actually done in Thailand, my favorite
country.
Anywho, I have been stopped multiple times and asked about my
tattoo and been able to share it’s meaning, about my mission trip, and
ultimately about the man who has changed my life. It’s been cool the
many doors God has opened.
Lastly, I’ve been able to spend lots of time with friends and
family. It has been such a joy to see people who have been a part of my
journey through financial support, prayer, love, and emails this year.
I have been treated to wonderful dinners and coffee and lots of hugs!
On that note, not everything has come as easily as I expected. For
one, Satan is up to his old tricks again. I spent a year conquering
doubt, fear, and other traps I have fallen into in the past. Being back
home often brings those same downfalls back. It’s even harder when I
don’t have a community around me to encourage me to press in and pray
over me. I’m learning how much I need to safeguard my time with the
Lord as it’s so easy to get caught up in day-to-day things and
completely forget about that.
I remember a time in Uganda when I’d simply had it with The Race.
In my mind, that day was as simply as hard as it was going to get. We
spent hours doing door-to-door evangelism and I was struggling to love
others. Boy, I could not have been more wrong. You’d think after a year
of missions that I’d have some of those fruits of the spirit down pat.
Negative. Family can be the hardest place to be Jesus. They see you at
your worst and these days I seem to have a lot of moments where in a
matter of a second I just snap. It took a matter of a day or two before
I was already short with my mom, mad at my dad and yelling at my little
brother for something. Seriously, I thought to myself, what is wrong
with me? I thought being patient while waiting for crazy transportation
from country to country was hard, putting that patience in practice at
home is definitely a learning experience. Some times I fail miserably,
but I know God is teaching me so much through it all.
Life in America is just plain weird. I have had some funny re-entry
experiences I never foresaw. They certainly offer some laughs.
First, I am awkward around boys, especially cute ones; story of my
life. I morph back to my 6th grade self; I get tongue-tied and forget
forming a coherent sentence. I accepted my fate years ago, I’m pretty
sure it will always be like this. So imagine my delight when upon my
arrival home, I suddenly find every American boy attractive. Well,
that’s weird. I suppose it makes sense, I haven’t seen American guys,
besides my World Race brothers, in over a year. And all the sudden a
slue of cute ones decided to bombard me in the most inopportune places.
Like the boy at the Apple store trying to fix my computer, at the check
out line at the grocery store, at Starbucks, etc. Needless to say I
felt like even more of an idiot when I couldn’t operate the credit card
machine at Target, to realize I couldn’t even explain I couldn’t work
it because I’ve been out of the country for a year.
Dear Cute American Boys, could you please not be all over the place for another few weeks? Thanks.
Second, why does EVERYTHING need to be automatic? I mentioned
screaming when the toilet automatically flushed on me in the airport in
LAX, but seriously it still scares me. Not to mention the automatic
water, soap dispenser and towel machine. I can’t operate you properly
and they always make me jump. I used to fear squatty potties and longed
for a nice American bathroom, but now I’m too scared to use those
because of the embarrassing situations and crazy looks other women give
me when I’m either mesmerized and/or terrified of any sort of hygienic
item in the toilet. Don’t even get me started on those rotating toilet
seat covers; hopefully someone knows what I’m talking about.
Perhaps the most fun part is my digestive issues. Too much
information, I know, sorry. It’s one thing when you’re with a bunch of
Americans (my team) and we laugh at each other when someone runs to the
nearest bathroom because of some weird food they ate or sketchy water.
It’s quite another when you’re the only one having issues. I had one
day where I was Throw-up Tammy all day. No matter what I ate my stomach
was just plain mad. I got some fun looks out in public when I had to
make a mad dash for the nearest bathroom.
Being alone is weird. I was never alone on The Race. Nighttime is
the strangest. For the first week I would roll over in bed and search
for my teammates. My headlamp was hanging on my bedpost, which I often
used to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night, until a few
days ago when I lent it to a friend for a camping trip.
In other news, I was thrilled to come home to my beloved high
heels. That is until I purchased the most beautiful pair of sky-high
wedges only to completely eat it in my driveway on the way to fetch the
mail one day. My neighbor saw the whole thing and walked over to ask if
I was ok. I used to rock those heels like no tomorrow; apparently, I’m
a little rusty.
So any who, that’s a little about how my re-entry is going. Be prepared for more updates this week.
