I had many times this year where I dreamt and longed for this day to come. The day I could pack my pack one last time and head home. It’s completely surreal to me in a few hours from now I’ll be cramming in a van with my squad to head to the Bangkok airport. There our squad is spread among 3 flights home, so I have to say most of my goodbyes before I even get on a plane.
I can’t wait to run to give my mom and dad a hug at the airport, see how much my “little” brother has grown this year and cuddle with my little sister, I’m also sad to be leaving.
I’m sure my first night back in my own bed will be weird. I will roll over and my teammate Heather won’t be there like she has been the last few months when we’ve shared a bed. I
Last summer I can remember how scared I was of this journey. I called my teammate Bethany almost every day with some new melt down. Yet, I knew the Lord was calling me to something big, I could never have guessed all the good things he had in store for me this year.
I wrote a blog called Spiritual Stretching almost a year ago exactly. I knew there were things in my life and about my character God was asking me to lay down. The last line I wrote in that blog reads: “I’m so looking forward to meeting the woman I will be next July. It’s time for some change.”
God loves us exactly the way we are, but also He continually pushes us to change. To show more love, give more, forgive more, pursue, honor and worship. I look back and see so many times in life where I just didn’t get it. Missed opportunities to be Jesus, to grow, and experience intimacy with him. Sadly, some of those moments even happened at times on The Race where I decided to sulk inside of press in.
This year has taught me so much about myself, about community and most importantly about the character of God. I am not the same person who left America last year, for that I’m eternally grateful. Jesus, thank you for loving me enough to bring me halfway across the world to show me how to love. Thank you for never giving up on me, even when I’d given up on myself.
As my teammate Tres always says, this was “a year of missions for a lifetime a ministry,” and this was only the beginning. Thank you to every single person who read my blog, supported me financially and through prayers, encouraged and emailed me this year. God has used each of you as an integral part of this growth process.
K squad and most specifically Team Redeemed, thank you for always pushing me, loving me at my worst moments, and becoming my family this year. I love you each so much and you have shown me what it is to be Christ to this world.
P.S.- This will be my last blog on the field. However, over the next month I’m sure I’ll be updating you on life back at home, posting lots more stories, pictures and videos that I never got to throughout this past year. So be sure and check back here and I’ll let you know when I get another blog up and running. See you stateside!
