This week I’ve been suffering a bit of a meltdown. I was perusing Facebook this and realized I’ve been out of college for a year now. I spoke to younger friends back home who are graduating this coming week; it was weird. My meltdown definitely felt familiar, because I had a similar one last year around this time.
May 2009: I finished up my semester in New York confused and unfulfilled. Headed back to Texas to graduate with no plans. All along I knew the Lord had been calling me to The World Race and I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to be a missionary. But God was asking me to trust Him. I finally caved the day before training camp. I was interviewed, accepted, buying a plane ticket then packing and leaving for Georgia in a matter of 24 hours. I think I may have given in simply because it offered me a plan, which I didn’t have.
So here I am on the tail end of my journey finding myself full circle. The ever-popular question seems to be “what’s next?” Hiding under the covers seems a viable option only for so long. Trust me, I’ve done it almost all week. Pouting and moping around also options, though not very productive or fun, especially to those around me.
I went on a run yesterday to clear my head yesterday and some things started to come to light. Why am I back here again, freaking out about the endless options and possibilities? Has this year taught me nothing? God is in control.
This year has taught me God’s love. He cares for me. He cares for my plans and my future. He wants the best for me. He will never leave me or forsake me.
It has taught me about His faithfulness. He keeps His word. He has given me a vision of what I’m to do with me life. I believe that will come to fruition, in His timing. He continues to be faithful, even when I’m not.
I have experienced freedom. I am no longer captive to this world and its pressures, nor to the devil and his schemes. I am ALIVE in Jesus Christ. I can live, breath, laugh, cry, dance, and shout for He has set me free.
Jesus is alive and at work. He speaks to me and calms my anxious heart. Despite all the evil in this world, His kingdom is at hand. I’ve physically seen it in 10 completely different nations this year.
God provides. Thinking back on the past 10 months, I can tell story after story of God’s provision. From big to small, even including a plate of nachos for my friend Lindsay, and when Bethany prayed for some toothpaste (read about it here), He provided above and beyond her expectations.
