Firm Foundation

I’m not sure what to say. My time in Israel seems to be flying. It’s been packed full with teaching English and running a computer lab for refugees every evening, ‘classes’ with our contact on all kinds of subjects, and as much sightseeing as our free time allows.

It’s been a bumpy ride the past week and I keep hearing God speak the word ‘foundation’ over me. I began the week with what seemed like the flu. After a day of rest I wasn’t feeling better. The next morning a squadmate prayed over me before leaving. She stated maybe God had wanted me home for a reason. I went back to sleep and while doing so had this amazing vision. I wish I could properly describe it. God doesn’t usually come to me in my dreams but I’ve been praying for it a lot lately. I’ve mentioned before in my ‘Kingdom Dreams’ blog that I’ve been seeing how God created me ‘girly’ for a reason. I’ve been getting ideas of starting a makeup line to somehow benefit sex trafficking victims. Sounds crazy but God gave me some absurd visualization of the makeup. I could see it in the store, see the packaging, everything. It really got me excited for what’s to come in the next few years.

My team leader ran home one day and out of breath told me to check my email because he’d gotten word that something was wrong with my dad. In a state of panic I was able to check my email through tears (we’re still on a technology fast) and come to find my dad was in a lot of pain and needing spinal surgery. I’m not sure all the details but from what I gathered part of his spine was lacking fluid and so it was bone on bone crushing the nerves in his back and he was hardly able to walk. I wanted to furiously pack, go home and be with him. (He’s now had surgery and doing better and I won’t be returning home).

Along with that, our contact has a friend being tortured and in jail. A squad mate lost her grandfather this week, and some of my teammate’s are also experiencing family issues. Other family member’s of my teammates are having surgeries, some very serious.

We had the opportunity to visit Masada and En Gedi on our day off as a team. We hiked an hour up to the top of Masada, which are ancient ruins and was the Jewish Last Stand. En Gedi is a desert oasis (quite the oxymoron) where David wrote Psalms. It’s mentioned in Song of Solomon as well.

Me at David’s Waterfall in En Gedi after a day of hiking!

After our long travels we made it to the museum and I can’t even tell you the emotions it stirred. Oddly, I’ve always been enthralled with Holocaust history. I remember reading the Diary of Anne Frank in elementary school and realizing how close I was to her age and to this day can’t imagine what that could have been like. I wish I’d had all day in the museum, but emotions were high so 2 hours sufficed.

Amidst all the chaos, at the end of the week, here I am. The word foundation still resonating in my mind.

What does it mean?

I think of this week. The past 5 months. The past year. It brings to mind many situations that seem ‘unfair.’ Bad situations that happen to ‘good’ people, the usual cliche.

I think of how much worse my dad’s situation could have been. I think of the multiple people I know currently battling cancer. I think of those who have won the battle and those who have lost. I think of worldwide epidemics. AIDS? I think of sex trafficking, modern day slavery. What about poverty? Those who lack clean water to drink? Food to eat. I think of the fighting between Israel and Palestine. What about the millions who were murdered in the Holocaust?

The list continues.

What eludes us all is the thing we seek the most. Why?

Why her? Why them? Why me?

This world is aching. It’s people morn. They question. Crying out for something, anything.

Sometimes I struggle with the why? God doesn’t ‘owe’ me answers. I don’t understand these situations or why these things happen. Why do sometimes horrible things happen when God has the power to stop them?

Over the years of my short life I’m learning as Christians we don’t have the answers, we only have one, THE answer. I can’t help but wonder when the day something tragic happens and my first response is prayer. Explicit trust despite the circumstance.

The hymn ‘Firm Foundation’ comes to mind. “Jesus, you’re my firm foundation. I know I can stand secure…I put my hope in your holy word.”

“Firm through the fiercest drought and storm. No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from his hand. Bought with the precious blood of Christ. Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand.”

I want deeply for this to be my core. This battle cry within to be enough. For Jesus to be the only answer I need. Even more, all I want. To praise and thank God even if I’m face down in the mud.

“If you are not firm in you faith you will not be firm at all.” Isaiah 7:9b

I think God laid the notion of foundation on my heart for a reason. I’m seeing that through the always changing days of the past 5 months He has been the only thing consistent.