As I looked around at the 29 other faces crammed around the table like sardines next to me my heart couldn’t help but gush with overwhelming joy. Living in biblical community has been my sweetest blessing and at times, my greatest annoyance.
I realized the latter yesterday morning when I woke up on the wrong side of the bed wanting to escape. The only alone time the last 2 weeks has offered is the thin wall of my tent back at training camp which was parked mere inches away from another tent.
All I wanted was to get to church to worship on Sunday morning to help me chill out. I felt better after singing worship songs. An hour later I found myself locked out of our place standing in a torrential downpour (the rain never stops here by the way) pissed off again. My teammate Birkleigh and I walked to the store to allow the team time to get home and us to get in.
Birkleigh, always eager to encourage, helped me realize what God was teaching me in this. I’ve often run from irritations I’ve faced in the past and I’m starting to see they’re the surface of underlying issues. I’m not yet sure what they are or what it means but I’m searching deeper to find out.
This year will be huge in facing things I don’t always want to. That’s part of allowing God to be the ultimate healer in our lives. He wants it all, not just bits and pieces. I no longer have the choice to give him the broken pieces.
It’s also part of community. My team has kept me accountable. They’re the first to notice my mood swings, when I’m ok and when I’m not. We are each given different roles in this body of Christ and I’ve seen it in each person in my team and squad.
Romans 12:4-8 – For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.
I’m learning to surrender. Not the little pieces. Not the big pieces. ALL the pieces. I’m giving him my little irritations, bigger frustrations, even the scars that run deep. Vulnerability can be unnerving. It leaves me no control; but lands in the Father’s hands.
It seems I’ve been in Coleraine much longer than a week. We’ve done every ministry under the sun thus far. We did kids club every morning last week and community outreach in the afternoons which ranged from scrubbing toilets and washing windows of local businesses, visiting the nursing home, passing out ‘lollies’ (lollipops), giving away light bulbs door to door, food pantry and praying for healing in the streets. It’s been a crazy ride and definitely not what I pictured doing on the race.
In the unexpected God has revealed powerful things. Team building has and will continue to be a crazy journey. They’ve encouraged, frustrated, loved, driven me crazy, laughed, and held me accountable. Most of all, they’ve been there through it all.
