It’s Friday night around 8pm, and Catherine, Felicia and I are getting ready to walk into our first bar of the night. As soon as we step foot in the parking lot of the club, however, we all feel an incredible darkness. At almost the same time, we stop, turn to each other, and say, “We should pray.” After that quick prayer, we begin the journey up 3 flights of stairs, each step pressing heavier and heavier on my heart and on my soul. When we walk into the club, some American rap song is blaring and lights are flashing. There are mirrors on every surface and a single girl in a skimpy bikini is dancing on the stage with the poles.
I’ve gone to my fair share of strip clubs in my life. Back in my pre-Jesus party stage, my friends and I would go because the guys we were hanging out with wanted to, and being the “cool girl” was more important at that time than standing up for what I believed in. While I was never the one paying for the lap dances or whatever else went on while we were there, I was there with the men who did just that. And tonight I understood for the first time how big of an impact I could’ve had on those girl’s lives.
Tonight was the first time in my many trips to strip clubs that I looked at the face of one of the girls up on the stage. In the past, I avoided the stage at all costs. I just didn’t want to see what was up there. But tonight, I skipped looking at her body and dance moves and I looked straight into her eyes. And what I saw absolutely shattered me.
As I looked at her stone-cold face and her empty eyes, I remembered a time in my life when I would be out at the bars, drunk, dancing with some guy I didn’t know and had zero interest in, thinking to myself, “Just get through this song, he’ll buy you a drink and you can attempt to drown out your sorrows.”
I saw so much of the old me in the girls that were up on that stage, dancing. There wasn’t a hint of happiness or joy on stage with her, or anywhere in the bar, for that matter.
A few couples walked in and sat around the stage she was dancing on. As she made her dance moves more exaggerated, you could see the shame and disappointment filling her anytime they chose to have conversation over watching her dance.
All I wanted in that moment was to walk up to her, hug her, and show her in one night all the ways her life could be better. If only she valued herself for what she was really worth instead of listening to the lies that the world has told her, she would know. But I couldn’t do that.
Tonight, she had customers. Tonight, she had to put on a show. Tonight, my only job was to pray for her, show her what light I could be by sitting in her bar drinking a Coca-Cola, trying to not cry next to my two friends over what I was seeing.
The Lord has been showing me these past couple of weeks that I can NOT save these girls. I cannot fix their problems or all of the world’s issues with sexual exploitation. There is nothing in my power that I can do to make these women choose to leave their jobs. I cannot save them from the heartache they have gone through to get to this point, or the lies they’ve been told.
But I can love these woman. I can love them with every fiber of my being.
I can show them how valued they are by our Heavenly Father, how fearfully and wonderfully made they are. I can show them that, unlike the lies they have been fed, they are worthy of true love. They are worthy of being valued, and they are more than an item to be looked at and picked for the next chance to grab at.
These women are someone’s daughters, someone’s mother, someones sister, cousin, and friend.
But most importantly, they are the daughters of the most High King. And it is our job to love them fiercely and show them no matter what, there is a better ending.
Tonight, for the first time in my 9 months on the race, my heart has been broken into a million tiny pieces. And so I prayed, and will continue to pray.
For those of you reading this that may think there’s nothing wrong with strip clubs: next time you go into one, don’t just look at the girls bodies. Look at their faces, look into their eyes.
What do you see?
While I may not be able to fix every problem I run into this month (as much as that absolutely crushes me), I can love these girls with everything I have. I can take them to lunch and go to get pedicures and go shopping. I can spoil them and love them and show them that in return, I want nothing but love and friendship.
I will continue to hold up my shield of faith, putting on my breastplate of righteousness and holding the sword of the Spirit. Because this battle we’re fighting isn’t of the physical world, but of the spiritual.
Will you stand with me?
