India was hard.
Point blank and no doubt.
This past month I have learned to erase every expectation.
The only expectation from here on out can only be that God will move.
The struggle was so real this month. Serving in over 100 degree weather and loving on children who were abandoned in sad/horrific ways is pressing. It forces you to forget yourself, your problems, and your needs. It allows you to open your hands up. Working with these orphans births an angst in your heart to make a difference. These sweet souls were unwanted and undesired. Thanks to Sarah’s Covenant Homes, our team was blessed with getting to love on these souls. We got to share our hearts and love on kids 8 hours a day/6 days a week in a home where they are cared for. The entire month, there was a rising yearning to see the kids daily and make them smile. This is what broke me, completely, for India.
Days were super long. It felt like I had been in India for months just loving on the girls of the third floor at SCH. Ah, and what a sweet sweet feeling. Each one of them are unique, special, and so beautiful. These children were made in the image of God, and that is why I know deep in my heart that they are perfect. They are wanted and loved not only by our Creator in heaven but they are deemed saved survivors. This incredible ministry makes room for children who never had a choice nor a chance here in South India.
One girl in particular rocked me to the depths of my core. This little one lit up an area of my heart that I did not even know existed. An area that fights to serve every second I possibly can, care abundantly, and seek out the purest of smiles. This month has pushed me into a season of learning gentleness.
The first day that I met her, I already knew I loved her.
This little girl was a gift from God that broke me of my fears. She was the ticket into leaping heart first into the ministry at SCH. Her real name was given to her by her parents and is different than the one I will use on this blog in order to protect her.
Keren was abandoned after she was dropped off at the hospital in Hyderabad for meningitis at 9 months old. Once admitted to the hospital, she suffered from a seizure that traumatized her, left her disabled from the neck down, and took away her vision. Her parents never returned to pick her up – they just left her there. Keren then suffered another seizure. She was immediately put through a neural procedure in which she had an operation that connects a tube from her brain to her stomach. From my understanding, SCH then adopted her shortly after and has cared for her almost her entire life. She is now 9 years old, blind, and has minimal use of her arms/legs. She can only sit up with assistance and for only a few seconds
This month I carried her upstairs and outside to the rooftop. So she could feel the sun on her precious face and experience nature. I placed her in a bucket of water and splashed with her as she laughed uncontrollably and smiled like it was magic! One of my favorite days is when our team had a water fight on the roof with the boys who attend school and two other missionaries who care for them (Jasmine and Mariah). We all got soaked and sweet Keren giggled uncontrollably as I spun her around in a bucket full of water. Ill never forget the look on her face as she listened to my voice and she shouted “Akka Akka Na Na Na Na!” She said “Sister Sister” and “Na Na Na Na” was the closest I could get to teaching her ‘Nikki.’ The joy and that rooftop was unexplainable. Even the ayas (caretakers) were playing with us in the water. It was the best Sunday of this entire year thus far. A day full of pure joy and undeniable love.
Keren has made me realize how to accept the messed up things of this world. She has propelled me to give the best of myself for the glory of Christ. To accept any and all circumstances. To show me I am not special. To reveal to me how to LOVE others exactly the way Jesus did. To get into the mess with them and do whatever it takes to show others that you care. To show THEM that they are special and worthy. To wrap my arms around Keren for hours and just hold her so tightly so she could feel how loved she is.
That piece of my heart will always be with Keren. Circumstances will still be hard, but I will strive to remember that discipline is a long-distance race. To keep my eyes on Jesus so that I may bring the light of His love to the nations. That little light has been such a blessing to the beginning of this missionary journey.
‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross…’ -Hebrews 12:1-2
