Today I felt like an orphan
Today I woke up in my tent with a bag on my head, covered in coconut oil, and also covered with lice. I ran into the shower and washed my hair with my normal shampoo and after that with the lice shampoo. After rinsing my hair, I could literally see the dead lice falling out of my head. I’ve never seen something so disgusting. So I made my decision that night it was going to be a de-lice party.
After that disgusting shower, I went to my tent to have a little breakfast: peanut butter sandwich with banana (since my mouth it’s not ready for the hot spices of India at this time of the morning) and while I was eating, everything hit me. Here I was the day before thanksgiving with lice on my head and blanket, eating peanut butter inside of my tent, and far away from my home… My family.
This is the first time on the race where I’ve felt that I really wanted to be home rather than here. I wanted to be with my family, with a breakfast I can eat, and with a lice-less head.
I felt alone and uncomfortable. I could barely stand the fact that I wouldn’t be with my family on Thanksgiving. Then I remembered what my team leader said the night before, she said that she was sad because of the things she was missing and then God showed her in her heart that every little thing she was missing, these kids don’t have.
When I realized that I felt completely broken. I wanted to understand why I was here. Why did I have to miss thanksgiving with my dear family, and above that endure the little animals that were feeding from the blood on my head? I had nothing to offer to these kids; in that moment I was just like them. I was a little girl, broken, crying for her Daddy.
After that thought I definitely understood that this is the place where God wants me to be. Not because I have everything these kids don’t have (health, riches and family), but because I needed to realize that the only thing I could offer, was the thing I needed the most… Jesus. He showed me that within me, there is nothing I could offer to them. So even though it hurts, even though its uncomfortable in a little silly way; I praise God for the fact the I’m here and that even though I don’t know how he is using me with the kids (being broken myself) He is going to show his power in my brokenness, his strength in my weakness.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
