We left our ministry.
All my wonderful, amazing and inspiring Cambodian family, left behind at the gate.
The week before we left I prepared myself for the pain of leaving so I would not cry in front of them. Well I thought I had it pretty under control and then I hugged one of my beloved sisters goodbye and the tears started. I couldn't even pretend it was just a graceful tear- I was bawling like a baby. These amazing people had been my family the past month and I had given them my whole heart. My teammate took me aside as we walked out the front door to them all lined up next to the tuk tuk and helped me take some deep breaths in an attempt to control the sobs. The tears stopped, with a few hiccups left over, and I gave out my hugs and goodbyes. We all piled into a tuk tuk and I looked back to wave goodbye. Looking at all their beautiful faces brought an entirely new wave of tears to my eyes and the tuk tuk started rolling away. I looked at all my teammates and got the 'ok' to fall apart from their eyes. And did I ever fall apart.
My heart was so heavy to leave these people who had stolen it from me. I couldn't imagine ever being able to stop crying. Then something happened that could only be God working in me. I began to notice and accept all the love my teammates were pouring into me during this time of pain. Ashlie pep-talked me into stopping the sobs, Amy held me and rubbed my back as we read a farewell letter from one of the boys and tears streamed down my face, and so much more. I was overwhelmed with love for them that made my heart feel like it could burst with joy and peace. The entire 6+ hour bus ride out of Phnom Penh I reveled in it. What an amazing gift God has given me in my teammates. I am safe to feel whatever I am feeling and they will only gather around me and love me more for it.
The rawness of leaving our Cambodian family is soothed by my 5 sisters who are loving, supporting and serving right beside me.
Our bracelets they made for us the morning we left
