This was a hard month to leave for me. Coming into the Race, I knew that my time at each place would be temporary and that I would have to say good-bye in the end, but I failed to realize just how close my relationships with the people I’d meet would become. I’ve enjoyed every single month on the Race (each month for a different reason) and it’s always been sad to have to say farewell. But this month was the hardest.
One of the hopes that I had at the beginning of the Race was for God to reveal to me what I was passionate about and what I would want my life (or at least the next stage of it) to consist of. As the months have gone by, I haven’t seen or felt that answer as I had originally hoped. As I said before, I’ve enjoyed every month, but there was never a passion in my heart or a deep compelling to go back to any of the places or ministries that I’ve seen. But I think I may have found my answer now.
I’m not one to immediately act on my feelings or emotions when it comes to big decisions in life, so I don’t want to be rash and say returning to Thailand will be in my future, but I have never felt so attached to a ministry or a people as I have with Thailand and the kids of “Remember Nhu.” I absolutely adore each and every one of them and have made close friendships with many of them. I think the injustice that we are fighting against has deepened the bond as well. Few things fire me up or break my heart more than the injustice of sex-trafficking.
I remember during my MANistry month in Swaziland, one of my teammates telling me he kept hearing the word “Asia” when he thought of me. He felt God was either going to call me to Asia or that He would reveal His calling to me during my time in Asia. More prayer and reflection is needed, but as for now, I’d venture to say He’s done both. As for what that means for my future, I have yet to find out, but some things I know are: 1) I want to fight against sex-trafficking, 2) I love and adore the kids at Remember Nhu and 3) I want to come back to Thailand.
One of my favorite moments from the month was when we visited a hill-tribe village where a couple of the girls at “Remember Nhu” were from. It was a very eye-opening experience as it made the sex trade that much more real to me. I know something as horrific as the sex trade can leave a lot of people wondering how this evil could be allowed, but seeing the village shed a little more light on the issue.
Like most injustices I’ve come across while on the Race, a main reason for the sex trade stems from poverty. And because people are so impoverished, they become desperate and will turn to anything that promises them a better life or happiness. Different people turn to different things like drugs, alcohol, robbery, or trafficking (for Thailand, most often sex-trafficking).
You see, as much as we hate to think about it, the sex trade is very profitable. I don’t know what breaks my heart more: families selling their kids to brothels or the fact that there is such a demand for sex-slaves to begin with. The world is so corrupted in its view of sex that people will travel with the sole purpose of sleeping with girls or boys as young as 6. God help us.
And so when you have impoverished families just trying to get by day after day, selling your kid to the profitable business of sex-slavery doesn’t seem that bad. The return makes it worthwhile, as horrific and sad as that sounds. But what’s even worse is the fact that, for them, there’s nothing else to turn to. There’s no other hope to break free from their poverty.
As we were walking through the village, our contact pointed out a house that stood out from all the others. Unlike the traditional wooden shacks with tin roofs that most of the villagers lived in, this house was a great deal bigger, made of nice wood with engraved designs. We also saw a nice vehicle parked in front (quite a difference from the motorbikes that everyone else drove). The whole thing just looked out of place in this poor mountain village.
We were told that this family had a daughter that was working at the brothels in Bangkok (12 hours away). She would send money back home, which allowed for them to buy nicer things. And when you’re a neighbor observing this upgrade in life, it’s hard to not want in as well, especially when the daughter comes back from time to time to recruit more children (she gets commission for each one she brings back).
There’s so much more that could be written about the injustice of sex-trafficking and I don’t pretend to know everything about it. It is far more complex and far more organized and far more horrific than I know. All I know is that when I look at one of those girl’s or boy’s faces and imagine them being forced to have sex with strangers, it breaks my heart like nothing else. Maybe it’s conviction from my own personal struggle with sexual sin. As much as I hate to think about it, the evil that lies in me when I look at pornography or masturbate is the same evil that fuels the sex trade. As Westerners, we can be so appalled at children being forced to have sex and yet be so indifferent (or even welcoming) of industries like pornography.
And the fact is, as much as we don’t want to acknowledge it, the two are linked. It’s so hypocritical to be against sex-trafficking and yet okay with other sex-driven industries. I say that from experience.
And frankly, I’m tired of turning a blind eye to the injustice of sex-trafficking. I’m tired of thinking that there’s nothing I can do about it. Yes, it is only through God’s power that injustices like this can be demolished, but He works through His church to bring that about. I don’t want to just have an awareness of sex slavery. I want that knowledge to lead me to action. What am I going to do about it? To be honest, I don’t know…but I’m willing to be used. And I know that’s often when God begins to work. Time will tell.
