So throughout this year so far I’ve been going through the devotional “My Utmost For His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. I’ve read bits and pieces of it before, but I’ve never gone through the whole thing. And if you are ever looking for a devotional to do, I would definitely recommend it as it touches on points in my Christian walk that I haven’t given too much attention to before. The last several days have been touching on the area of listening and hearing from God. Already this has been an area that I’ve recognized that I want to grow in while on the Race as there are numerous people on my team/squad who seem to have such a close, direct communication with the Spirit. Not to say that I haven’t heard from God or felt His Spirit/Presence, but I feel like there’s more for me to experience.
Because right now I feel like my times of hearing from God and seeing Him are kind of sporadic. There are moments and days where I feel super close to the Lord and am able to hear from Him and there are other times where I’m just deaf and blind to what He is saying and doing. And I don’t think that that’s the way the Christian walk is supposed to look like. I think as followers of Christ we should always be able to hear from God and know that He hears us. I don’t think Jesus was ever at a place where He couldn’t hear from God or talk with Him. He says so right before He raises Lazarus from the dead.
“Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” John 11:41-42
So if Jesus could always be in communication with God, then as a person with Christ living inside him I feel that I should have the potential to always be able to hear from the Lord as well. I’m not saying that I should always be able to hear from Him in the way I want or expect; He’s not a vending machine where I just push a button and He responds. But I do think that regardless of how He reveals Himself or speaks to me, I should be able to recognize His voice. And I think I’m still growing in that.
Over the last couple days God has been revealing that a lot of my struggle with discerning what is from the Lord and what is of me comes from being too focused on myself throughout the day. This has been something that I’ve been convicted of for most of the Race. I’ve noticed that for the most part, my mind is fixed on myself. Now some of it may seem like good things as a lot of my thinking pertains to how I can grow spiritually and in my own personal holiness. And yes, those are things that I should care about because I want to be close to Jesus. But I limit myself of hearing and seeing the Lord when my mind is on myself rather than on God. When I’m concerned about my own personal holiness it fixes my eyes on myself. And that’s not the way I’m supposed to live my life. As it says in Hebrews…
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12: 1b-2a
This has been something I’ve been praying about a lot recently: that my gaze/mind would be on Jesus and not myself. Because when Jesus is my focus then I’m open to all that is around me because Jesus is everywhere and all creation proclaims His glory. And it’s through this that I’ll be able to hear from Him more. God doesn’t just speak to me directly through a dream or a vision (and when I’m focused on myself, this is what I’m often searching for). But He also speaks to me through His creation and His Word and through fellow brothers/sisters in Christ. When I’m focused on God my ears are more opened to hearing from Him because they’re actively listening for Him. And even though my focus isn’t on myself and my own personal holiness that doesn’t mean that I won’t be growing in my sanctification; if anything I’ll experience a lot more growth because not only will God be also teaching me through other people and revealing Himself through His creation, but because He lives in me too I’ll still be able to hear and see directly from Him as well. I pray that God will continue to open my eyes and my ears to Him and what He is calling me into.
