I don't really know if the past week of my life could really be described in words. I could try and explain every single event and emotion and feeling that I experienced, but none of it would do any justice nor would I possibly be able to cover everything. It's kind of one of those things where you'd have to be there in order to fully understand everything that happened. But I'll try to paint a clear enough picture so that you can get a taste of my past week.
I was in northern Georgia attending my training camp for the World Race. I didn't really know what to expect because all the information that was given to me was pretty cryptic (intentionally to enhance the experience). All I knew was that I would finally be meeting my squadmates who I've been getting to know as well as I can over facebook the last several months.
I remember the night before flying out to Atlanta, I was experiencing a mix of excitement for the unknown of the coming week and anxiety over the same unknown. Normally I'm not too anxious of a person, but I was nervous at how well I would get along with people, how the Spirit would show up, what kind of food I'd be eating, etc. However when I finally got in to the Atlanta airport and met the rest of the Racers who were at the airport already, I immediately felt a sense of peace over everything. I can't really give a reason why, but I know for sure that it was by the grace of God and I didn't experience anxiety the rest of the week.
Now if training camp could be described in a short phrase (which it can't), I would be just as cryptic as the information given to me and say that it was "an experience." I experienced a variety of food from different cultures, most notably, fish-head soup (which I thought was pretty good, but my squad would probably disagree). I experienced sleeping in uncomfortable environments, such as 60 people on a 40-seater bus or 14 men in a 10-person tent or sleeping outside in the freezing night without shelter or a sleeping bag (the sleeping bag was my fault, but it still would have been uncomfortable). I experienced dance parties almost every day (N-squad loves to dance!). I experienced a new band, Imagine Dragons (if you haven't heard of them, look them up cause they're amazing. particularly their night visions album). I experienced profound, biblical teaching. I experienced worship in a way that I've never experienced before (one night everyone was literally dancing around the worship band which was probably one of my favorite parts of camp). I experienced vulnerability amongst men. I experienced the Spirit's presence. I experienced physical healing. I experienced prophecy. I experienced Gods sovereignty over choosing the team that will best encourage me and grow me more in His likeness (I will blog about my team later. they're awesome and I love them all!).
N-Squad spending the night on the bus! Worship in the pavilion
One of many dance parties! N-Squad!
But probably the most significant experience I had was the love of God. Now I've grown up knowing the God loves and cares for me, but I think I've become hardened to the implications of all that it means. In my head I know that God loves me and calls me His son, but so often I don't experience that in my heart (especially when I'm stuck in sin). And coming into camp, I had been struggling with some sins (lust and bitterness towards friends) that kept me from fully experiencing God's love for me. And training camp really helped me experience His love in a deeper, more intimate way.
The thing I experienced was that God not only loves me, but He rejoices over me and takes delight in me! It's kind of hard for me to say that at times because I think of all the crap that's in my life and the wretch that I am, but then I read verses like the following
"I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more." Isaiah 65:19
"The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
I so often see taking delight and rejoicing and singing as actions that I do for God in praiseful worship, but these aren't one-way actions; God reciprocates those actions to me (actually it's probably me that reciprocates since He first loved me), not in worship of me but in an illustration of His love for me. Because even though I may see myself as a sinner and define myself by the sins I commit, God, by His grace, sees me as His son, perfect and spotless. And just like He took delight over His Son Jesus after his baptism,
"You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." Mark 1:11
so He takes delight in me. May I live my life in the knowledge of that.
