Graduation is a mere five weeks away, and with so many questions that have yet to be answered, I’m beginning to see why the World Race experience starts well before the first plane takes off. I wanted to share some of the struggles I’ve been facing within these past couple of weeks that have really began to push me to my limit and to decipher for myself if what has been going on has been God getting me ready, or Satan trying to push me away. Let this post serve as an update in my life as the month of April begins.
1. School is coming to a close
School is all I have ever known since the age of four. I look back at those pictures of my brother, sisters, and me dressed up in our overalls and bowl cuts, smiling from ear to ear as we prepare to step foot out onto the road to catch our first school bus ride of the year. I remember going through each grade, counting down the number of years I had to go until I graduated high school. I remember then graduating high school, then remembering I had another four years of college courses I had to take. The classroom has dominated my life up until this point, so when asked what I plan on doing after college and after the World Race, I can’t help but wonder what life has in store after all is said and done.
2. The road to being completely healthy still has its fair share of obstacles
Within this past week, I’ve come down with certain ailments that still have yet to be diagnosed by doctors. These ailments could be anything from a common health issue to an issue that needs serious addressing. I’ve been struggling as of late to believe that these ailments are something simple because I’ve had a rough past of always acquiring the worst sickness possible. With that in the back of my head, I begin to think about having this ailment disqualify me from taking part in WR. I try not to think the worst, but my first reaction is to resort to that. I feel as though I am having a tough time discerning whether or not God is testing my faith and patience because I know I am called to do the race so I have nothing to worry about, but for some reason I’m doubting His calling will be upheld with the state of my health. It’s a constant battle I’m fighting hard to win each and every day, but I often times find myself on the losing end. I’m hoping that these health issues are minor so that not only will I be able to serve my squad and others on WR; I’ll be able to gain a bit more trust in God’s calling.
3. Financial obligations are becoming more real
School bills need to be paid. College loans need attention ASAP so that interest does not pile up on top of the principle. Current cash flow does not allow much wiggle room in paying off loans and interest on loans while in school, because I currently am paying off what I owe for this semester. This summer, I have to choose between working less hours and focusing on fundraising efforts, or working more hours so that I can pay off loans and interest but fundraise less which may mean less inflow from outside sources. Which option should I take? Should I get two jobs? Will I have enough time to work, fundraise, and spend time with my family and girlfriend before I leave in five months?
4. Time Crunch
Because I have held two part-time jobs, maintained multiple volunteer positions, tutored underclassmen, held an internship, ran track, and went to school full time this semester, I haven’t had much time to do anything other than those aforementioned things. The things I feel behind on include fundraising and planning fundraising ideas, shopping for the supplies I need for the trip, having the funds necessary to book a flight to and from training camp and to the launch site, and finding that balance between work and play this summer. There are still so many things that need to be accomplished before the trip, so I ask for prayer in this time of time crunching.
I pray that everything still remains well for you and for your families and friends. I will be back in the mitten in just over a month from now, as I plan on graduating May 9th. Hopefully this gives you a debriefing of what’s been going on in my head and in my heart for the past month. Please continue to pray for my health and wisdom regarding this summer and preparation for the trip. A donation or two, if felt led to give, certainly won’t hurt either 🙂 Love you, guys.
Blessings,
– N.J. Shear
