Today marks my last "first" day of school as a college student, and potentially my last as a student ever. That is a strange thought considering I've been having first days of school since September, 1994. That is mind boggling to me. Where did all that time go? Pretty much the only things I remember from my life occurred after I began school. All I know is school. And in 123 days I will be walking across a stage, picking up my diploma, and finishing this chapter of my life. Graduating felt so foreign to me until a few days when I realized "It's 2011. I graduate in 2011. What is going on in my life?" Now it's just looming in the distance; the inevitable.
Personally I am very torn about this whole process. While I'm glad to be done with classes and tests, I am not ready to leave the fantastic community and all the fun that college is outside of "school." Luckily for me, my schedule this semester is kind of a joke (sailing, drumming, and website design), so I'll be able to really make the most of my final few months on campus. With all that free time, I really want to invest as much as possible in people around me and experience as much as I can while the opportunities are still here. There are plenty of things I still need to do in Los Angeles that are "musts" if you live here, like the Getty Villa or House of Pie, a local favorite. And then there's all time I get to spend with friends. Where else do I get to live with 40 friends under the same roof of have nearly all of my friends within a 5 block radius?
With the theme of growing my friendships here, God has been definitely preparing me for a lot of growth this semester. I have tended to put my personality and life in a box, and that's not what God wants for my life. I'm not big on change, and so if i want to say or do something that is contradictory to what my status quo is, I usually won't do it. That is, until yesterday at church. After hearing 4 testimonies of God just radically transforming people's lives, I just gave it all up to Him. It was sweet. I pictured myself clinging to a box that was my worldy self and God was just telling me to trust Him and that He would take care of me. And it felt like I've been trying to hold it from God for a long time, with the box on the edge of my fingers. And then I let it go, and it was just a huge relief for me. Of course it is going to be super challenging for me to daily give my life over to Him, but I'm ready. I'm ready for Him to do some crazy work in my life. I'm ready for Him to change my personality, the way I interact with people, how I think about things, and the way I interact with Him. It's going to be a great semester, and I can't wait to see just how different I am at the end of it…at the end of my life as a student.
There's definitely more I want to talk about, but that will be coming in future posts. I hope to post consistently so there aren't weeks at a time with no communication from me.
