Holy crap where do I start?
I went up a few days before training camp to be part of the Man Hike, a two day hiking/camping trip for all the guys to start to get to know each other and a few of the Squad leaders and trainers. I’m from Florida which doesn’t have very many hills, much less mountains. So even though I train regularly, after hiking 18-20 miles up and down…and up and down…and up and down, I was ready for a chair. But it was awesome to be out in the woods and it began to lay the foundation for the band of brothers that would be cemented later on in the week. That was Thursday and Friday.
Training Camp officially started on Saturday afternoon. It started with a bang and never slowed down. It was awesome to finally get to meet all these people who I’d been group chatting with over the last couple months. And a lot of others I hadn’t talked to yet. It took almost the whole week to talk to most everyone on our Squad of 50 sum odd people. Saturday night we had some awesome worship time followed by a “welcome to camp, hold on to your seatbelt” message.
Sunday is when training really kicked into high gear. We had a guest speaker, Pastor Ron Walborn from Alliance Theological Seminary, come and speak to us over the course of Sunday through Tuesday. Sundays teaching was basically how to grieve and help us to let go and get rid of baggage we’ve been carrying around for faaarrr to long. After one lecture, we were given quiet time to think and pray about stuff that was weighing us down. God began showing me that the fear of rejection and the sense that I had to act or perform to a certain standard in order to be loved and accepted was the root cause of my insecurities. He showed me that, I believe, it began at a very young age, which led me to try to find acceptance through other stimulus, namely porn, that would prove both empty and deadly. Praise the Lord I’ve been set free from that nasty stuff. And all along I was trying to deal with porn, when in reality, that was only the decoy to distract me from the root issues.
But something really cool happened that night. After the final message, we had a time of prayer and worship. While I was praying, I asked God simply, “Father, what do you see/think/feel when you look at me?” And as I continued worshiping and listening, within 5-10 min. three different people came up to me and told me that, “I am an incredible man of God” “I am His son forever and my Father is proud of me” “My Father likes me.” That was so comforting and reassuring to hear! I scrambled to write it all down in my journal. God had just broken some serious chains off my heart. And we’re only on Day 1!!….(to be continued)
“Furious” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=behoFhOb61s
