Disclaimer: What you are about to read is a story about a son (me) blessed with a Dad perfectly and specifically picked by God for him. I know that many men in this fallen world have grown up with un-Godly fathers, or not grown up with a father at all. I am not trying to offend those in that current situation. My intentions are solely to tell a story about my father and God’s work in my life through him. May it inspire you.
Since today marks the end of “Man Month” or “Celebrating Men” on the World Race I would share the manliest thing that I have ever done.
Let’s get right to it.
The manliest thing that I have ever done is:
Listened to my Dad tell me:
“You are a man.”
That’s right. Listened to someone say something to me. How is that manly? “Shouldn’t you have killed a 12 point buck? Chopping down wood with an ax? Grown a full mustache or something?”
No. Listening to my Dad, my hero, tell me those 4 words: “You. Are. A. Man.” is the manliest thing I have ever done.
Hearing these words from my Dad, my hero, my mentor, is one of the most, if not most, significant events of my years growing up. Actually having someone (not just anyone) whom you have built trust with for 18 years, loves you, cares for you, is proud of you, is your primary source of advice, and loves God physically state that I was a man was (and continues to be) a big deal for me. I did not have to go looking for my manhood in all the wrong places. I had it in me all along. My Dad just simply told me I was a man; therefore, I am a man. I had no doubt in my mind that I was indeed a man because my Dad told me. My Dad! The manliest man I know. It may not seem important, but I assure you it was. I was growing into a man since the day I was born by learning from the manliest man I know: my Dad. This progression into manhood hit its pinnacle in a camping trip the summer after high school graduation (which you will read about below).
Those 4 words have been the foundation of my identity as a man, as a man of God, since I heard them back in the summer of 2010 (right after high school grad). The man who calls me his beloved son here on earth provides just a glimpse of the Father’s love for me, His beloved son. The more I think about what God did for me that day through my Dad back then the more I thank God for placing my Dad in my life to do so. I know that God was speaking through my Dad that day – my earthly Dad obediently following God so that I may have a solid foundation to place my identity. Every time I think about these 4 words it reinforces my identity in Christ, reminds me of what it looks like to be a man, how to lead, act, think, etc.
I do think that males in our culture struggle in finding their identity as a man. What does a man look like in our society? How should one act? How do I become a man?
My Dad and his best bud not only showed and exemplified to their sons (myself included) what manliness looks like in their everyday lives, but also taught us what manliness is in a sacred week of father-son bonding.
My Dad and his friend have been showing us how to be a man throughout our entire childhood and adolescent years – from how they treat, respect, and communicate with their wives to how they deal difficult circumstances to how they raised us to how they seek God (the list goes on). From early childhood and through adolescence they have led us to what would be the pinnacle (or final lesson) of what a man looks like. This “pinnacle” has been aptly named “Man Week”. The following is a short description of one of the most significant weeks of my life.
My Dad and I and this other father-son group traditionally go on summer adventures together filled with burps, farts, jokes, laughter, immaturity. However, the trip following high school graduation would be different (well, not burps and farts different, but different in my Dad’s intent of the week together as father and son). It was not like any other of our yearly summer adventures – it was planned to teach us boys something. This week would hold (and still holds) a higher significance in my life.
After this week of intense learning, growing, bonding, and fun I knew exactly what a man looks like. How one acts and thinks. God showed this me through my Dad. I am so blessed and I humbly acknowledge it.
We went out to our campsite in the East Kootenays. Beautiful. My Dad and his friend thoughtfully scheduled activities for the week. Each activity had a moral or lesson that is related to what being a man is.
- Volunteering at the Salvation Army.
- Start off a week of fun and adventure with serving others. Being a man, a Christian man, means serving others. Remember: “You’re life is not about you!” You will go far if you adopt this as your motto.
- Golf
- You can get away with a lot in the game of golf (“miscount” your strokes, “accidentally” kick your ball out of the rough). Integrity is vital in being a man. “Who are you when nobody’s looking?”
- Paintball
- Being a man (or life in general) is a battle. There will be struggles. Keep going. Turn your face to God. Rely on your teammates (or fellow men) for back-up and support.
- Silverwood Theme Park – Coeur d’Alene, ID
- Don’t forget to have fun. Being a man is fun. There will be struggles in life, but there will also be times when you feel like you are on top of a mountain. You’re identity should not be something you dread; enjoy it; live it abundantly.
- Skydiving
- Risk and courage were the take-aways here. Being a man means you have to take risks. Taking risks takes courage. Uncertainty looms around every corner. Have courage in yourself and in God during unknown situations (there will be lots in life!). Life is not a textbook you can study from beginning to end (well, we can’t read it, but God can!). It writes itself as you go. Have courage in the face of uncertainty. Men are called to be courageous; to stand up for what we believe in – for what is right.
At the end of the week my Dad told me these simple words: “you are a man.” And, to this day, that’s all I need to know.
Celebrate Men. I am a man and I know it.
Thanks Dad (earthly and heavenly),
Your son,
Nicholas
