As I've mentioned in previous blogs, there's something that everyone asks themselves–either consciously or subconsciously–after every month. You begin to look back and wonder, "Did I use every opportunity and do everything I could to glorify God this month?"
99% of the time, the honest answer is NO.
We're not perfect. We are easily intimated. We tend to push away urgings that the Spirit puts within us.
I'll be honest. I didn't love Africa. As a matter of fact, there were a lot of days I didn't even like it. Many times, it became a countdown for Asia. Granted, I met some AMAZING people. I now have friends that I will never, ever forget about. But Africa was hard for me. Not for the physical hardships, like squatty potties and tenting. But for a lot of deeper reasons. It wore me down spiritually and emotionally.
The Holy Spirit definitely convicted me when I reflected on my time in Africa. I mean, I didn't necessarily waste my time or anything. I dove into the ministry we did and the conversations I had; but I realized I was doing a LOT of things out of my own willpower and strength, rather than God's. I began to give myself a LOT of credit. I began to make decisions that I thought were best. I spread the Gospel to people that were easy conversations, rather than surrendering every given moment to God and letting Him guide me.
So He broke me.
As we began our second worship service at debrief, I knew it was time to hand myself back over to God. So about three songs in, with no care about the people around me, I dropped to my knees, put my head to the ground, and sobbed.
Lord, forgive me for ever thinking I could do it on my own.
I don't get up much to speak in front of the squad… Or ever, actually. But when the song was over, I knew I needed to share what God had done in me that night. I didn't know who needed to hear it, or if I simply just needed to do it to share my burdens with my brothers and sisters. But it was Good.
As cliche' as it is, it was a New Year, and I was being given a fresh start.
Don't let yourself go another year, month, day, or moment, thinking you can do things on your own strength.
You can't.
You think your relationship or marriage will be blessed without God being in every aspect of it?
You're wrong.
You think you're talented enough to have a successful career all on your own?
Maybe a for a little while, but you'll break eventually.
You think you can do ministry without giving God every ounce of credit?
Not. A. Chance.
Evaluate where you're at in life.
Do you wake up thanking God for where He has you?
Do you recognize that every thing you own and every talent you have is a blessing from God?
Are you seeking His voice in your every day life as you do His Good work?
If not, allow God to bring you to your knees in humble realization that He is your Everything, and He deserves you in your entirety.
Every. Single. Day.
